Shade: It's What Everybody Wants
by InAnotherLife11
Summary: Nikki isn't your average girl. She knows how to get what she wants and she knows exactly how to please a guy. What happens when she arrives at CGL and a certain D-Tenter comes along who wants her to stop all her bad habits in order to be with him?
1. It's a Girl

**Chapter One**

**It's a Girl**

It was hot.

So. Ridiculously. Hot.

Heat was something that had never bothered me before, having lived in Arizona all my life, but here it was even worse. I think it was because of the drought people say had been cursed upon this land. It's a known fact that it hasn't rained in almost a century around here. It must be the reason why it's so hot.

There's no reason for it to be this hot.

Of course, there's no humidity around here because there's no water. It's like a dry hot, the kind of hot that makes your mouth thirst for water even after you've just had a sip. It's the kind of hot that makes you crave water more than ever.

Thank God, the window above me was halfway open or else I'd probably suffocate on this bus. It was just a regular old yellow school bus. The only difference was that I was the only passenger, except for the armed guard up front, talking to the bus driver. We were headed toward Camp Green Lake, a detention facility for boys where they force them to dig holes to "build character."

The only problem was that I was _not_ a boy. I was a sixteen-year-old girl. I was arrested for having beaten up a couple of snobby girls for threatening me. I cornered each of them separately until I had them alone to pass on my own, much more terrifying threats. After being caught punching the third girl, it was proven that I had beaten up the two others and I was immediately arrested and given a set date for a trial. The reason I ended up _here_ is because they thought that being in a girls' facility would make me even more hostile because it was only other girls that I had singled out and it was proven throughout the very short trial that I had no female friends. After all of this information was made know, the judge believed that I would be better off in a boys' facility.

Camp Green Lake was my only option after that considering it wasn't jail.

Looking out the window, I began to notice several buildings close together in the near distance. We just recently began passing tons of holes and I even saw a few boys walking back toward the buildings. They were all wearing orange jumpsuits.

Great, I thought, orange jumpsuits. How perfect. Good to know that even though it's not jail, I'll still feel like I'm in it.

My dark hair kept falling in my face and I kept shaking it back, since my hands were cuffed together in my lap and useless. My backpack was on my back, as I didn't have the ability to take it off, having been handcuffed before I even got on the bus. Needless to say this very long ride was a very uncomfortable one with the heat, handcuffs, and my journal shoved into the spine of my back.

I'd only brought a few things with me: enough clothes to last me a week, a black baseball cap and a couple bandanas, my hairbrush, a mirror, sunglasses, a pack of tampons (to get me through my first time-of-the-month here, but I was told I would be provided for), my iPod, my journal, and enough pens to last me the eighteen months I'd been sentenced here for.

Finally, the bus stopped.

We have officially arrived at Camp Green Lake.

The guard on duty walked back toward me and quickly pulled me out of my seat and pushed me forward, to walk in front of him out of the bus. I saw that his left hand rested on his gun in its holster, ready to pull it out in case I tried to do something stupid. But it was too late to try, I was already here. I might as well try my best to get through the next year and a half alive.

As I walked off the bus and out into the blinding sunlight, I saw quite a few boys standing around or walking into or out of the surrounding buildings.

"Yo! Fresh meat!" One of them yelled out.

Then I'm sure they all did a double take as I then heard, "Dude, it's a girl!"

Yeah, that's right, prick. I'm a girl. Get over it.

"Damn, look at _her!_" Another one called out.

Ugh. Great, I'll be surrounded by pigs my entire time here. I guess I should have expected that.

The guard quickly pushed me through the doorway into the closest building, where I immediately felt the cool breeze of air conditioning. Having gotten adjusted to the heat, the cold air made me shiver. But I knew it wouldn't last long. I highly doubt they'd bother to have air conditioning where the boys were sleeping.

"Nicola Giordani?" A harsh voice called my name. I looked up to see a middle-aged man, who looked more like a woman with sideburns, wearing a light pink buttoned-down shirt and a huge silver belt buckle. He was sitting at a desk, eating sunflowers seeds from a brown sack, with a manila folder in his hands. I assumed it must be my file. "Sit down."

The guard quickly removed the handcuffs from my wrists and pushed me down into the chair in front of the desk.

"So, they put you in here because they thought the boys would keep you in line, eh?"

I didn't answer. I doubt he even expected me to give one. To him, my sentencing to Camp Green Lake was probably just highly amusing.

After looking over the file for another minute, he put it down and looked straight at me. "My name is Mr. Sir, and you will call me by my name when you speak to me, do you understand?"

From the hard look in his eyes I think he was expecting me to smirk or laugh at his name, that way he could yell at me. But I wasn't going to do either of those things. It wasn't that funny, just stupid. Mr. Sir was probably the biggest moron out here for all I knew. "Yes, Mr. Sir," I answered, showing absolutely no emotion in my tone or expression.

"This isn't a Girl Scout camp, girl," he said as he led me out of the building. Once outside, he continued to speak, "Look around, girl, do you see any guard towers? Any electric fences?"

I looked around, seeing absolutely nothing but dirt and the blue sky, a couple mountains in the far distance. "No, Mr. Sir."

"Exactly! We have the only water around here for a hundred miles. If you wanna run away, go ahead and run. I won't stop you. But you can bet that in three days time you'll be buzzard food."

Gee, Mr. Sir, thanks for informing me of common knowledge.

We walked into another building full of supplies. Mr. Sir went over to a shelf full of fresh orange jumpsuits. He handed me two jumpsuits and a hat, "You get two sets of clothing; one for digging holes and one for relaxation. After every three days, your work clothes will be washed and your relaxation clothes will become your work clothes. Any questions?"

"No, Mr. Sir," I calmly repeated.

He then preceded to hand me a pair of boots, gloves, and a large plastic jug. "You will dig one hole every day; five feet deep and five feet in diameter. Your shovel is your measuring stick."

He took my backpack from me, "You will change in here."

He then turned around to check my bag. I really hoped he wouldn't take anything. My only possible weapons would be my pens, and I needed those to keep me from going insane while I'm here.

Realizing he could turn around any moment, I quickly started to change. I took off my sneakers and jeans and put on the hideous jumpsuit over my underwear and black tank top. Then I quickly started putting on my boots. I must have been given one of the smallest jumpsuits; I was relatively thin and only five foot five and the jumpsuit was only just a little baggier than necessary. The boots were maybe half a size too big but they would work.

A few moments later Mr. Sir turned around and handed my bag back to me, I quickly took it and gathered up my regular clothing, my second jumpsuit, gloves, and hat into it and zipped it back up. I left out the plastic jug, knowing I'd just have to carry it, but it did have a rope tied to it, so I could where it like a sash around me.

"Now, you may be a girl, but here you will be treated just like everyone else. You will receive no special treatment, do you understand?"

"Yes, Mr. Sir," I nodded. "But I _am_ going to need a box of tampons every month, unless you expect me to bleed all over the place. I may be treated like a boy, but that doesn't mean I don't still have a uterus."

His face went red. Good to know the man could be embarrassed. "The Warden will arrange for your, um, needs," he finally coughed out.

"Thank you, Mr. Sir," I smiled coldly.

After that, another man walked into the building. He was about my height and way too happy looking for this place. I immediately disliked him. But the moment he opened his mouth I realized that he was a bigger moron than Mr. Sir by far.

"Nicola Giordani?" I turned to face him slowly, "I just want you to know that you may have done some bad things, but that does not make you a bad person."

I wanted to laugh, but I refrained. Shows what he knows, I thought as I rolled my eyes.

"I respect you, Nicola. Welcome to Camp Green Lake. I am Dr. Pendanski and I'll be your counselor." His straw hat and sunscreen-covered nose made his speech even more comical.

Dr. Pendanski quickly led me out of the building. He gave me showers tokens and told me about the cold water. Then he made sure I knew the number one rule here at Camp Green Lake: _"Do not to upset the Warden."_

Like I would bother to try and upset the Warden.

"You'll be in D-tent, Nicola. D stands for Diligence."

D also stands for Deranged, I thought, following him. Deranged he obviously was.

"Now, don't worry, Nicola. I know these boys and they are very respectable."

I was pretty positive that this man was a nutcase. If these boys were so freaking respectable then please tell me how in the world they ended up here?

"Hey, Mom!" I heard a boy yell. "Don't tell me the girl's gonna be with us?"

I looked over to see three boys walking toward us. The one who spoke was black, muscular but thin, with these huge black rimmed glasses clouded with dirt on his face. The taller one was white with brown eyes, and what I suspected was brown hair under the white t-shirt wrapped around his head. The third boy was black, very large and rotund. He had this dumb look about him, but he definitely wasn't someone you would want to mess with, considering his size. They were all still covered in dirt from their long day of digging holes out on the lake.

"Rex, this is Nicola, she'll be in D-tent with you," Dr. Pendanski answered the first boy. He looked like he might be the leader. "You boys better behave, too. Treat her like one of the guys," he warned.

Turning to me, Mr. Pendanski introduced me to the three boys, "Nicola, this is Rex, Alan, and Theodore."

"Yo, my name is X-Ray," Rex stated angrily, "That's Squid and that's Armpit," he said, nodding to Alan, the white boy, and then Theodore, the huge one.

"And that's Mom," Squid said nodding toward Dr. Pendanski.

Dr. Pendanski chuckled, "They all have their little nicknames, but I prefer to call them by the names their parents gave them; the names society will recognize them by."

"Yeah, whatever, Mom," X-Ray dismissed him. Dr. Pendanski's opinion obviously did not matter.

I didn't respond to any of them, just looked the boys over as they were each looking me over. I was pretty sure none of them had seen a girl in months.

"Alan, you will be her mentor. You can show her where to fill her canteen and which cot is hers."

Alan, or Squid, just nodded, not taking his eyes off of me. Then Dr. Pandenski left me alone with them. I didn't bother to see where he was going to, I didn't really care.


	2. First Friend, First Enemy

**Chapter Two**

**First Friend, First Enemy**

I waited for one of them to say something.

It wasn't long before they got the hint that I wasn't going to be the one starting this conversation.

"Um, so you can fill your canteen over there," Squid finally said as he pointed over to the spigot outside of the showers. "And we were headed back to the tent anyway, so you can just follow us. We'll show you to your cot."

I nodded, curtly, and followed them over to the tents. We then entered what I assumed was 'D-Tent' and they showed me which cot was mine. As it turned out, it was next to Squid's.

What a coincidence, I thought sarcastically.

The tent was bigger than most tents; it was more like a permanent tent. The foundation, floor, and stairs up to the tent were made of wood but it was covered with a thick green canvas that would keep us safe from the rain; if it were to ever rain again, of course, which wasn't likely for this cursed land.

I put my stuff down in the cubbyhole next to my cot and threw myself face forward onto my bed.

It wasn't much of a bed; a wooden cot, a thin mattress, a pathetic looking pillow, and a sheet.

I could feel their stares as I lay there, uncaring. Not like I wasn't used to be stared at. Attention came naturally to me and I accepted it as if it were nothing.

"What kind of idiot puts a girl with a bunch of delinquent boys?" I overheard Squid asking X-Ray and Armpit quietly, in his southern accent might I add.

"I don't know, man. Maybe there was a mix-up. Soon enough they'll probably realize their mistake and take her out of here," Armpit offered.

I rolled my eyes.

"Nah, man, if she wasn't meant to be here I doubt they'd put her in a tent with us. Mom would have mentioned it if she wasn't staying," X-Ray declared.

"Maybe she'll go crazy. You know, my sister went mental every time my parents grounded her from seeing her girlfriends. It's like a necessity for them to be with their own kind," Armpit speculated.

I smirked. I knew girls like that. I hated them.

"Maybe she already is crazy…" Squid stated, sounding hesitant, as if he was afraid of me attacking him at any moment. "I bet she hasn't said a word since she got here."

Okay, this was getting annoying. "I'm female, guys, not deaf. I can hear everything you're saying."

I heard them shuffle about awkwardly. "Sorry," Armpit responded.

A few minutes later, I heard a few other boys enter the tent. "Dude!" I heard one exclaim. "Did you hear they sent a _girl_ here?" This one had a Spanish accent.

"Yeah," X-Ray started, he sounded annoyed, "but what you _didn't_ hear was that she was assigned to _our_ tent."

I suddenly felt more eyes on my back as I'm sure X-Ray had motioned towards my bunk as he said that. I sighed and then finally sat up, slowly. I looked up to see a tall white boy with crazy hair that made him look like he had just been electrocuted; his eyes seemed just as crazy. A shorter boy, a Mexican with his head shaved, stood next to him. Behind them was a third boy with brown curly hair, but he looked way too innocent to be here.

Squid noticed that I was making observations and decided to introduce me, as a good mentor should, I'm sure. "Nicola, this is Zigzag," the crazy one, "Magnet," the Hispanic one, "and Caveman," the innocent one.

I nodded and looked down at the floor.

"Guys, this is---"

"It's Nikki," I said clearly, letting it be known to the first three boys that I would not be going by my real name here. They all seemed pretty wary of my presence, like they weren't sure what to do with me here now. Well, almost all of them.

"So chica, what'd you do to get put in with the boys?" The Mexican named Magnet asked, sitting next to me on my cot. This boy definitely had some nerve. The others were purposefully keeping their distance and this one just walks up and sits down next to me like we've met before.

I almost laughed at him, but instead I just allowed myself a small grin. "I guess they thought you poor lonely boys could use some female comforting," I joked, standing up. "So, who's first?" I asked, suddenly acting all bright and bushy tailed.

Nobody laughed.

"You serious?" Armpit questioned, looking shocked. He wasn't the only one; they all looked pretty surprised at what I had said and how I had suddenly gone from sullen and quiet to happy and joking.

I laughed, "Of course not! Like I'd ever give myself away for free." And they had no idea how true that was of me. If one of them were to want me, I did not come cheap. I expect to be paid up in advance. But I tried to act as if I was just kidding with them.

Squid stared at me for a second, he appeared revolted by my joke, and then he quickly exited the tent. X-Ray and Zigzag followed him, seeming surprised at his odd behavior. I didn't know what Squid's deal was, but I could only assume that this meant he didn't like me now.

Magnet still sat on my bed and Armpit on his own cot. They both looked like they were glued to their spots. Caveman seemed to be wavering between staying and following the other boys out as he now stood alone in front of me.

"Now, chica, what are you _really_ in here for?" Magnet asked, still curious.

I laughed and sat back down next to him on my cot. I decided this guy seemed alright. "Nothing serious, I just beat the shit out of these bitches," I finally answered, nonchalantly.

He looked surprised at my indifference, "What for?"

I shrugged, thinking the answer should be relatively obvious; "'Cause they deserved it."

A few moments later, I heard a bell ring. It appeared to be coming from somewhere outside.

"Dinner time," Armpit declared. He and Magnet stood up, "Come on, we'll show you to the Mess Hall." So we all left the tent, along with Caveman and another boy, a small black kid with dark curly hair, that I hadn't noticed lying on the cot across from mine when I first walked in.

When we entered the building everyone seemed to quiet down and turn their heads toward me. I just ignored them and followed Magnet to the line where we each got our trays, which were then filled with disgusting looking beans and chopped up mushy green stuff.

"You'll get used to it," Magnet whispered, talking about the food.

I was then given two slices of bread and a juice box. Magnet and Armpit led me over to the table where they usually ate, with the rest of the inhabitants of D-tent. I sat down between Armpit and Magnet. X-Ray sat at the end of the table next to Armpit, as the obvious leader of the tent. Squid, Zigzag and Caveman sat across from us. The smaller boy, whose name I learned was Zero, sat on the other side of Magnet.

Squid didn't even look at me or acknowledge my presence as I sat down. He just kept his eyes on his food and didn't talk much during dinner.

I wasn't sure exactly what I had done wrong, but I wasn't happy that I'd made an enemy in my own tent _and_ on my first day, no less. Weren't criminals supposed to represent and support their own kind? And he was supposed to be my mentor, too, but there was no way he could be helpful if he was angry with me. Squid seemed to get along with everybody else, what was so different about me, besides the fact that I was a girl? Maybe he had something against women… that was always possible.

Other than him, the boys didn't seem that bad. Magnet was completely chill with being around me. Caveman seemed a little shy at first, obviously someone who'd never been around girls much, but I think he was getting used to me pretty quick. Armpit and X-Ray were helpful and never even dared to hassle me, though I had a feeling that if I were a guy, I would be picked on for being new. Probably non-stop. But because I was a girl, it seemed that they weren't exactly sure how to treat me, but they appeared to have chosen to treat me with respect. Zigzag and his shifty eyes put me off a little, along with his paranoid theories about everything, but it wasn't hard to realize that there was just something mentally wrong with him. Zero still hadn't said a word as far as I knew, but I wasn't going to let that bother me because no one else seemed to be bothered by it.

Walking back with the boys to D-tent after dinner, with Magnet beside me, I was curious about the schedule I would now have to live by. "Hey Magnet," I started.

"Yeah, chica?" He responded.

"What time do you guys have to start digging?" I questioned.

"They wake us up at 4:30—"

"4:30!?" I exclaimed in shock.

He chuckled, "Yeah, we get a quick breakfast and then we each take a shovel and head out. They tell us where to dig and we dig."

"But why 4:30?" I asked, still not believing that for every day of the next eighteen months, I would have to wake up at 4:30.

"So that we can get out there while the sun is still rising. We have to get up early so that we can finish before the sun reaches its highest point 'cause that's when you really don't want to be out there."

"That sucks," I commented.

"It's not so bad once you get used to it."

"You mean, like the food?" I joked.

He chuckled again, "Yeah, like the food."

We went back to our tent and I began to organize all of my stuff in my cubbyhole. I took off my jumpsuit and put on a pair of blue boxers, not caring that some of the boys were blatantly staring at me as I did so. I turned to face them all, frozen in the midst of their card games and conversations, and casually exclaimed, "What?"

They quickly turned back to their games after that. I folded up my jumpsuit and sat it on top of my cubby hole, along with my gloves, dark purple bandana, and big sunglasses. I stuck my iPod in one of my jumpsuit pockets, in case I got bored. I figured I might as well be ready to go the night before since I doubted I'd be able to think of all this at 4:30am.

Thinking about the sun and the heat I would have to endure, I was really happy that I came from an Italian family because I knew that I would not burn out in the harsh sunlight. I would only tan, which would be good for me. I could definitely use a tan.

Of course my family was not so happy that I had thrown away all they had worked for; my private schooling, my happiness, my college fund. I had let them down, and they were ashamed of me and all my bad habits. Beating up those girls was nothing compared to the shame I brought on them for all the other things I had been doing. They were doing honest work to keep up with the bills, and I was out all of the time sleeping around for money to acquire my wanton necessities, like designer clothing and flashy electronic gadgets so that I would not stand out due to the fact that I came from a bottom-middleclass family.

I wouldn't be surprised if they hadn't abandoned me after I came here. If they are actually there to pick me up when I'm released back into Phoenix, I'll be surprised.

I quickly wiped away a tear before it could fall and expose my vulnerability in front of these juvenile delinquents. If they ever saw me cry, I would surely lose all of their respect and I could not allow that to happen. I needed to stay tough. I _am_ tough. I am _not_ some pathetic little girl who lets herself cry.

I quietly got into bed, turning away from the boys so they couldn't see my face. I was going to need all the rest I could get if I had to get up at 4:30 in the morning and dig a hole that's five feet wide and five feet deep before the sun reaches its highest point in the sky.

The boys quieted down the moment I had settled under my sheet. I mentally thanked X-Ray for hushing them and it wasn't long before they each got into bed themselves.

My cot, as I said before was next to Squid's, whose cot was next to Armpit's, whose cot was next to X-Ray's, closest to the entrance.

On the other side were Magnet, Zigzag, Caveman, and Zero.

Such strange nicknames they had. Some seemed a little obvious, as X-Ray had his glasses and the frames were huge and the glass in them seriously magnified his eyes. The ironic part of his nickname is how he must be horribly blind without them. Zigzag's name pretty much equaled his hair and how it stuck up in every possible direction, but I suppose there could be another reason, like his eyes zigzagging in every direction in order to catch every possible movement around him. But the others' I wasn't so sure about. Like Squid, I didn't get that one.

I wondered if I would get a nickname, too. I hope it won't be too horrible. Hopefully nothing as vulgar as Armpit.

Still thinking about nicknames and the boys, I eventually drifted off to sleep.

*

Hey, so now you know a little bit about Nikki and her background. She's a little stuck up and a little full of herself, but she can be vulnerable and she does have weaknesses. I hope you don't hate her too much. But I would love to know what you all think! Next chapter will be up in due time. xoxo.


	3. D is for Delirious and Deranged

I'm updating early again! But as I said, I already had these chapters typed out, and I'm still editing them constantly. Probably why I keep posting, because if I post it then I don't have to bother editing anymore, It's already up on the site. Oh, and I would also like to thank xCrazyKindovWeirdx for being my first and (currently) only reviewer right now!

**Chapter Three**

**D is for Delirious and Deranged**

The next morning, I awoke to this horrible alarm going off. It sounded like the kind of alarm you hear on TV when they wake real camps up, you know those summer camps meant to offer tons of fun, but that was usually at a more reasonable hour, like 8:00. I checked my watch; it was really only 4:30 and that was unsettling, even though Magnet had pre-warned me. I was still too tired to deal with being awake right now. I laid my head back down on the pillow, wishing this was all some bad dream that would go away.

"Nikki! Come on, girl. You got to get up and get dressed!" Magnet was shaking me.

"Uggghhhhh," I groaned. "This blows."

"I know, but like I said, you'll get used to it. Now come on, let's go."

I got up and out of bed, quickly pulling on my jumpsuit and brushing through my hair. I grabbed my sunglasses and bandana and shoved them in a pocket. There was one good thing about boys' clothing; they always had huge pockets.

I quickly followed the boys outside for the large tortillas covered in molasses they called breakfast. It looked kind of gross, but it tasted better than last night's dinner, which was a plus.

After that, I followed Magnet and the boys out to the holes, with my newly filled canteen on my shoulder and a shovel in hand.

This day was going to suck, that was as obvious as the sun rising in the east.

Finally, Mr. Sir was showing each of us where we would be digging. After the boys were given their places and already starting their holes, Mr. Sir marked a spot for me and said, "You will dig here. Now, if you find anything interesting you are to come to either me or Pendanski. If the Warden likes what you've found you'll get the day off."

Ha, fat chance. Like I'm going to find anything considered interesting out here in the middle of nowhere. I probably won't find anything at all. What would there even _be_ to find in a desert like this?

Mr. Sir left me to return to his truck and head back to camp.

I sighed loudly. "Time to start digging," I muttered to myself. I pulled up my long hair into a ponytail, then pulled my gloves out of my pocket and put them on. Then, checking out X-Ray's posture and grip on his shovel several feet away, I stuck the shovel in the dirt and mimicked his movements. I did it a second time, and then a third. It wasn't so bad, really. It took more arm strength than I was used to, but this just means I'll be even hotter than I already am when I return home. What with my hard-earned and well-toned arms and possibly abs, not to mention my perfect tan, I'll be absolutely irresistible.

Yes, one truth about me was that I knew I was attractive. I had amazing hair, it was dark brown, and sure it was naturally curly, but I liked it that way, and so do the boys. I rarely ever bothered to straighten it and thankfully the heat actually did my hair a lot of good, because instead of frizzing up like some other girl's pathetic excuse for hair, it will only emphasize my curls by ensuring they stay intact. My complexion had always been perfect, and it'll be even better once I start embracing the sun. And the natural lighting will make my pale green eyes sparkle. Trust me, once the effects of this camp start showing, I will be every girl's worst nightmare because _all_ the boys will be ignoring their girlfriends' annoying chattering to look _my_ way.

I smiled to myself, relishing in my future triumphs as I stuck my shovel in the ground for the tenth time.

*

After an hour or so, I thought I was doing rather well. I had my perfect circle started and I was almost a foot deep in the dirt. I just had to keep digging down until it was as a deep as the length of my shovel. Not difficult at all.

"How you doing over there, chica?" Magnet called from his own hole. Looking at it, I could tell he was a little deeper than I was, but that was okay. They've all been doing this for a while now.

"I am just dandy, mi amigo, I am having such super fun," I overexaggerated with a hint of sarcasm. "I could do this every day!" I added.

Armpit laughed, "Well that's good considering you _will_ be doing this every day!"

I returned the laugh, "I can't wait!"

Eventually, I was starting to feel the sun beating down on me. I pulled out my purple bandana to cover my scalp and put on my huge black sunglasses.

"What are you?" X-Ray asked. "A gangster?"

"Duh! I'm the biggest G you'll ever meet, my brother," I responded, trying hard to keep a straight face.

"Hey, guys, I think she's already got heatstroke! She must be delirious if she's having this much fun!" Zigzag called out.

The others laughed at his joke.

"D stands for the Deranged and Delirious!" I shouted back and they started laughing again.

"I like this girl, man. I was worried at first, you know, but nah, she's cool," I overheard Armpit saying to X-Ray and he was nodding in response.

*

A couple hours later, I saw Mr. Sir's water truck driving toward us in the distance. After stopping at the other groups, he finally made it to ours.

"All right, D-tent, line up!" Mr. Sir called out.

The boys slowly made their way over to the truck, lining up in a particular order, it looked like. I stood at the back, behind Zero who was behind Caveman. X-Ray was heading toward the front but on his way there he quickly took my hand and pulled me up to the front with him, then stuck me behind Armpit and before Squid.

"This is your spot," he said, grinning at me.

"Man, third in line on her first day, he must really like her," I heard Magnet mutter to Zigzag.

I also heard Squid make an angry grunting sound behind me. Refusing to face him, I didn't dare turn around, but I didn't need to. I had already witnessed the ranking.

X-Ray was first, of course, followed by Armpit, me, Squid, Zigzag, Magnet, Caveman, and Zero.

It was my first full day there and I had already ranked third in a line of male teenage criminals. That was pretty impressive. Too bad I didn't have anyone to tell.

After Armpit's canteen was filled, Mr. Sir quickly took mine, looking surprised to see me in front of Squid. "Already stepped up in the ranks, have you?" He spoke.

I shrugged, unsure, "It looks that way."

"How's it going digging your hole?" He continued as he filled my canteen.

"It's going great, Mr. Sir," I responded, smiling.

"Bet you've got some huge blisters forming on those dainty little hands of yours, eh?"

"Ha, dainty? Mr. Sir, you underestimate me," I spoke out. "And that's breaking the number one rule for when you're working in a place such as this," I said sweetly as I gestured to everything around me.

"What rule?" He demanded, screwing on the top of my canteen, looking annoyed by my cheeriness and telling him how to do his job.

"_Never_ underestimate the criminals," I stated very clearly. I then smiled sweetly, took my canteen back from him and the brown paper bag he was holding out for me, and walked back to my hole.

Deciding to sit in my hole where there might be some possible shade, instead of sitting on the ground above, I opened the brown paper bag. Inside, there was what was looked like a turkey and cheese sandwich, a couple gram crackers, and an apple.

What a nice healthy lunch, I thought to myself.

The turkey was slimy and obviously outdated. The gram crackers were stale. And the apple was warm. I take back what I said about the lunch being healthy, but it was still better than dinner.

Besides, Magnet was right. I would get used to the food, just like I would get used to waking up at 4:30am, just like I would get used to digging holes.

And speaking of digging holes, after finishing my lunch and still sitting in my hole, I decided to secretly inspect my hands while no one was paying attention to me. It wasn't until Mr. Sir mentioned blisters that I realized my hands really did hurt like hell, but I wasn't going to let on that they did. I would deal with them the way I planned to deal with everything else around here. I would stay tough.

Looking around me furtively, no one seemed to be paying attention to me as the boys were laughing and fooling around, some were still eating. Slowly and carefully, I began to pull off my left glove. I was not happy when I saw the result. My poor hand was covered in blisters, and it looked like all of them were bleeding. I scowled, not happy with the fact that Mr. Sir was right. My hand looked absolutely disgusting. I didn't even want to look at the other hand because it probably looked just as bad, so I kept that glove on.

"Looks like you really don't feel as great as you say you do," I heard someone say from above me.

I was already pretty sure I knew who it was; their voices weren't that hard to decipher but I looked up anyway, just to make sure.

Deep brown eyes stared back down at me, cruelly, as I gazed upward. Yep. It was Squid, just as I predicted.

"And you would care, _why?_" I asked, angry that he'd come and talk to me when my weakness, my ungloved hand, was out on display.

"Isn't that what mentors are supposed to do?" He questioned, crouching over me as he kept his distance by not entering my hole.

"Yeah, sure, that's what mentors who aren't assholes are supposed to do," I answered, not letting him get off easily.

"What's gives you the right to call me an asshole?" He argued. "I haven't done anything—"

"That's the whole point. You haven't spoken to me since I was introduced to all of you! You haven't even bothered to welcome me or at least try to be nice! So, what gives you the right to just come around and talk to me when you finally feel like it?" I thought I had made my point pretty clear.

"In case it hasn't crossed your mind, I don't _have_ to be nice to you! None of us do! You think you're queen now just because X-Ray likes you and moved you up to third rank you're first day here? Well guess what, little girl, you're not queen! We should have just treated you like crap like we do to the new guys. Why should you get special treatment just because you're a girl? We should have made you _earn_ your respect just like everybody else!" He yelled, and then started walking away.

"Yeah, well, it's not like I asked for any respect from you or any of the other guys, so don't go blaming me!" I called back, standing up to watch his retreating back. He waved off my words as if they didn't matter. I kicked the dirt angrily, but that was a mistake. Some of the dirt fell into the hole, and I refrained from kicking it again, afraid that the wall would collapse if I did.

In an angry huff, with the other boys looking back and forth between Squid and me, I put my left glove back on and grabbed my shovel. I was determined to finish my hole as fast I could, instead of screaming like a maniac, which is what I would rather do. The happy insanity spell I had cast over myself was gone; I was no longer happy or eager to dig. I was no longer delirious. I just wanted this day to be over and done with.

Wanting to block out the boys' questions, I pulled out my iPod and plugged the headphones into my ears. I figured some angry music would help get me through this and calm me down. I just wanted the day to be done. But I knew this day would just repeat itself tomorrow. I'd have to wake up early and dig another hole and try not to let assholes like Squid break down my walls.

*

Is Nikki a little over the top? I worry that she's too overdramatic or irrational. Let me know what you think. xoxo.


	4. Ready for Anything

**Chapter Four**

**Ready for Anything**

Two hours after my short argument with Squid, I was almost finished and too upset to even be proud of myself for actually managing to a dig the forsaken hole.

A shadow formed over me, blocking the sun. I looked up, praying it wasn't Squid again coming back for more, to see X-Ray hovering over me. He pointed at my ears, and I quickly pulled out my headphones and turned off my iPod.

"Why aren't you digging?" I asked, trying to be nice even though I was still in a foul mood.

"I'm finished. Most of the others have already gone back to camp." I looked up to see Squid and Zigzag walking away together. Zero, Magnet, and Armpit were gone, too. Caveman was still digging, but he was also the newest one here, besides me.

"Why aren't you leaving with the others then?" I asked, continuing to dig.

"I wanted to talk to you," he stated softly. He had sat down over my hole, with his feet dangling inside it. "Looks like you're almost done. Good job on your first day; you're a lot faster than Caveman."

"I may not be used to this kind of manual labor, but I am used to labor. It's not that hard to get a job done when you're determined to do it," I said defiantly.

"Yeah, I know. I didn't mean for that to come out as an insult. I could tell from the moment I first saw you that you're life couldn't have been a breeze."

"Oh really?" I questioned, suspicious of him. "And how could you possibly be able to tell that from just looking at me?"

"You're eyes, you're facial expressions," he answered quickly. "You have this look to you that just screams 'don't mess with me.'"

I was surprised, "I do?"

He nodded.

I thought about this as I finished the last shovelfuls of dirt before my hole looked quite perfectly finished.

"Looks like you're done," X-Ray spoke again, observing my hole.

He stood up, "Do you think you can get out of there yourself, or would you like a hand?"

He held his hand out for me to take. I looked up at him carefully, observing his facial expressions. At first, I wasn't going to take it, but then he looked genuinely sincere. I quickly decided to let him help me, remembering that he was the leader and that I should be thankful that he was still willing to show me some respect. I grasped his hand tightly and he helped me pull myself up.

"Come on, I'll show you back to camp," he put his arm around my shoulders as he steered me in the right direction.

"Thanks," I said quietly. I wasn't used to people helping me nor was I used to accepting their help.

After several minutes, I had a question burning in the back of my throat that just itched to be spoken. It was something I needed to ask because I needed to know where I stood with X-Ray. He was the leader after all and he was being nice to me. I needed to make sure that he wasn't expecting anything of it.

"Hey, X?" I started, hesitantly.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Why are you being so nice to me? I mean, what Squid said was right, you don't have to help me, but you still do…" I trailed off.

He nodded, looking wise and very sure of his and Squid's actions. "You chose to come here. You chose to be surrounded by boys who could mug you or rape you at any moment if they wanted to. That takes guts, Nic. Besides, I got Magnet to sneak into the office and look at your records."

"You _what?_" I asked, shocked, stopping in my tracks and quickly pulling away from him.

"Normally, Squid would be my number one choice as he's the expert when it comes to files, but with him out of the picture because of you, I had to turn to Magnet."

My blood began to boil at the mention of Squid's name.

"Anyway," X-Ray redirected the conversation to continue answering my first question as we started walking again. "We found out that you really did beat up those girls, as you told Magnet, and it turned out to be a lot more serious than you let on. You really did some damage. The judge's reason for sending you here—"

"Was because she thought I'd only do more harm in a girls' facility, I know, I was in the courtroom," I cut in.

"But don't you get it?" He asked. "You earned your right to be here in that court. For a judge to send a girl here she must have really believed you would have been better off."

"That still doesn't tell me why you are showing me so much respect or why you moved me up to the third spot in line. I know people don't just get bumped up on their first day!"

He nodded, "True, but I can tell you really aren't someone I want to mess with. The last thing I need is you daring me to a fight considering I would _never_ hit a girl. Sorry, but I've got standards."

I laughed, "That's why you're being so nice? You're afraid to hit me?"

"Yes," he spoke solemnly. "And I made sure the others follow the same standards. I won't allow it." His voice was stern, and it was right there that I really gained a large amount of respect for this boy.

"But Squid," I paused for second, trying to keep the anger down. "He said you liked me…" I trailed off again, not wanting to finish, afraid of what his answer would be.

"I'm not doing this to try and get in your pants, if that's what you think. That's not how I roll. You're just another member of D-Tent to me."

I sighed with relief, "So, we're just friends? Nothing more?" I needed to make sure it was completely clear to both of us.

"Nothing more," he promised. "Besides, I think Squid might have a thing for you…" Now it was his turn to trail off.

"_No!_" I yelled, stopping again. "He's been nothing but a complete ass to me, there's no way." I continued walking.

"Come on, Nic. I don't exactly know what his problem his, he wouldn't say, but I'm sure he will come around when he's ready."

I shook my head, "I doubt it."

"You know, you're not making this any easier between the two of you. What if he was just trying to start over with you earlier? You completely blew up on him without giving him any chance of getting into your good graces."

X had a point, but I didn't want to admit that. I don't know what it was but there was just something about Squid that bothered me. "Look, he started this by walking out on me and refusing to acknowledge my existence. First impressions mean a lot to me and it's his fault for fucking it up."

X-Ray didn't have a response for that. He stayed quiet; probably in order to leave that conversation as is so that I didn't blow up on him next.

Reaching the camp, we both went into D-tent and… I realized I was going to have to shower. I think X-Ray was realizing that, too, after looking at the odd expression on my face.

'X, I'm gonna have to shower…" I voiced my concern.

"Don't worry, Nic. We've got stalls, but if anyone walks by, they are going to see you." His tone was somber as he gave me a stern look.

I figured. But what else could I expect? Criminals don't really have a right to privacy.

"Don't worry, you can use the one on the end, that way no one should have to walk by, and I'll be in the stall next to you just in case someone does try to pull something, alright?" He asked, rubbing my back lightly.

I nodded, "Sounds like a plan." I tried to smile and grabbed my relaxation jumpsuit, a fresh tank top, and underwear and followed X-Ray to the showers.

He was right; there were stalls, at least eight of them, but no curtains or doors to give any privacy. The stalls were separated into two halves; the first half when you walk in had a bench for you to lay your clothes down on while the second half, further inward, had the shower head attached to the back wall. At least I knew that my clothes would not get wet while I showered.

Someone was showering on one end, but we went in the other direction to the other end, I got the shower against the wall and X-Ray went into the stall right beside mine. I stayed quiet, not wanting to draw attention to myself. I didn't want to let the other unknown showering boy, or anyone else who might enter, know I was in here.

I quickly undressed and put my token in the slot. Freezing cold water poured out and down over me and I covered my mouth so as not to shriek in protest. I quickly washed my hair and body, not wanting the water to go off still covered in soap. I ignored the pain the water and soap was causing my poor bloody hands. X-Ray had told me on the way over here that the water would only last for about five minutes and that being quick was the way to go. Thankfully, I managed to get all the soap off of me and out of my hair before the shower went off. When it did, I quickly wrapped myself in my towel and dried off.

That wasn't so bad, I thought to myself as I began pulling on my underwear and bra. Still trying to be as quiet as possible. Then I put on my tank top and jumpsuit. Instead of buttoning and zipping up the whole thing, I followed a trend I saw some of the boys doing. I kept the top part down, around my butt, and tied the sleeves around my waist tightly. It worked pretty well, I thought. It worked for me anyway, I never liked layers. I didn't like baggy long-sleeved tops either.

I came out of the stall to find X-Ray leaning against the wall, freshly showered and waiting for me. "Thanks," I smiled. The other boy was already gone and we exited the showers and went back to D-tent quietly. We both put away our dirty clothes. I quickly brushed through my hair and pulled it up into a messy bun. I checked my reflection in the small mirror I brought with me. As far as I was concerned I looked fine, maybe a little tired.

"So, do you think you're ready to brave the Rec Room?" X-Ray asked, watching me from where he stood, next to his cot.

I thought about it. "Can't be any worse than the Mess Hall," I figured. "Let's go," I grinned.

He grinned back, shaking his head at me. "You're a strange girl, Nic. Any other girl would probably be screaming her head off to get the Warden to send her back home, but no, you're ready for anything that comes your way."

I shrugged, "What can I say? I'm not your average girl, if I was, they sure as hell wouldn't have sent me _here_."

"You got that right," he agreed, chuckling.

We walked side-by-side outside to a building I hadn't noticed before. On the door, it had originally said 'Rec Room,' but the 'Rec' had been scratched out and replaced with 'Wreck.'

Inside, it was full of guys, having conversations with each other, lounging on the broken furniture, lifting weights, playing pool or foosball, and watching TV.

The majority of D-tent was over by one of the two pool tables. "What's up, fellas?" X called as he walked over to them. I quickly followed, not wanting to stand alone for longer than a second with all of these guys eyeing me up and down. I stood at the pool table, staying close to X-Ray.

Squid immediately left the table to go watch TV; not wanting to be around me, I'm sure. Zigzag quickly followed him.

I watched them as they walked away. Why was he such an ass? I wondered to myself, glaring at their backs.

Well, that left me with X-Ray, Armpit, and Magnet. I found Zero over in a corner by himself and Caveman should be on his way back to camp by now, I assumed. He'd had plenty of time to finish his hole. Just as I was thinking this, Caveman walked into the Wreck Room, found us at the pool table, and was on his way over.

It was obvious that the boys stuck to their own tent mates. D-Tent was really like a strange family, but one I felt I was singlehandedly tearing apart. Squid turned his back on me every time I approached and Zigzag seemed to be on his side. I mean, I didn't even really care for Zigzag, he was too crazy for me, but I'd rather have him on my side than egging on my enemy with his insane theories about me.

"Hey guys," Caveman greeted us as he made it over to where we were standing. He was smiling and it bothered me. He just seemed so _whatever_ about everything. I mean, that's how I tried to seem, but he did it so much more genuinely. "So, how are your hands really?" He asked me.

I figured he hadn't heard the bit about my hands when Squid first came over to my hole. We hadn't begun yelling at each other until afterward. Then again, he probably _did_ hear Mr. Sir asking me about them. After a moment, I put up my hands to show him.

"Damn, girl, yours look as bad as Caveman's did!" Armpit exclaimed.

I grimaced at that, "Will it ever get any better?"

"Mr. Sir says everything turns to callus eventually," Caveman answered. "Mine have," he added, showing me his own hands.

I sighed, "So much for my dainty little hands."

They all laughed at my sarcasm.

"Don't worry, Nic, your hands will still be dainty, they just won't be as soft or pretty," Armpit added.

I laughed, "Wonderful!"

"So, who wants to play?" X-Ray asked, picking up the two pool sticks. Caveman seemed uninterested; probably never having played a game of pool in his life. Armpit and Magnet already looked defeated.

"Not me," Magnet quickly put in.

"Yeah, X, you _always_ win," Armpit grumbled.

X turned to me, looking hopeful, "What about you? You play?"

"Sure, why not?" I answered.

He tossed me the stick and I quickly caught it. "Let's play then," he said, smirking at me.

The other three boys stuck around to watch, but stayed out of our way as the game became more and more intense. X-Ray was winning, but I was quickly catching up. Soon enough, a couple other guys from other tents were standing around to see who the winner would be. I think some of them were even rooting for me. Some were also making catcalls and yelling things like, "Come on, X! You gonna let a _girl_ beat you?" But if they thought I'd mind and get all upset and lose, they were wrong. I had every intention of kicking his ass, metaphorically of course, because one thing none of these guys knew was that I was the Queen of Pool back home. No one ever beats me.

I even saw Squid watching solemnly with his arms crossed, but he stayed in the back, keeping quiet instead of jeering or cheering with the others.

I could tell X-Ray was just as much into this game as I was, it was my turn and the last ball was on the table in a spot that meant a ridiculous angle was necessary if I wanted to get it into the hole. "Come on, babe, there's no way you can make that shot," he mock-sneered, still having fun anyway.

I smirked up at him as I set up my stick for a well-skilled maneuver. Scoffing at him I quickly replied, "Honey, _please_, we all know whose winning and we know it won't be you." And with those final words, I hit the cue ball into the other ball with enough speed to send it around the table and straight into a hole.

I straightened up slowly, still grinning at him as everyone else starting cheering or booing at me. I didn't care. I was just enjoying the moment.

The dinner bell went off.

"Good game," X-Ray finally gave in, smiling back at me as we walked over to the Mess Hall. "You just beat the best player here," he added as he put his arm around my shoulders.

I removed it the moment he had it settled around me, "Doesn't that make _me_ the best player here?"

"Ohhh!" Magnet called out from behind us, overhearing me rag on our tent leader.

X-Ray just ignored him, "I guess it does."

Once we were in the Mess Hall, we all filed into line for another night of disgusting food. But I didn't really care anymore. I was actually having fun in this hellhole. Who would have thought?


	5. A New Name

So, I originally had this story rated Mature, but when I found out Mature stories are harder to come by, I decided to put it down to Teen. At least for now, because I want the story to get more hits and readers, and it looks like it's working. Of course, when the Mature parts do eventually come up I will have to change it back, but we probably have a bit of ways to go before then.

Chapter Six is already ready for posting but I will probably wait until tomorrow to do that. I seem to reread these chapters every day and I've been spending so much time editing them that I haven't been doing much writing in the last day or two. At least not any _good _writing.

And, I'm sorry, but this chapter accidentally turned out WAY longer than my other chapters, mainly because I wanted to get the nickname in there (finally) and I just didn't feel right cutting it into two chapters. I had originally just been trying to keep the chapters under 3,000 words but this one somehow made it to 4,000. But enough of that! On with the story! xoxo.

**Chapter Five**

**A New Name**

I woke up the next morning, practically on my death bed. I was afraid to even move, my body hurt so bad. My muscles were terribly sore, some I think I had pulled. My body seemed to crack in twenty different places as I mustered up all the strength I had just to sit up. My euphoria from yesterday had evaporated, for good this time. I doubt _anything_ could make me feel happy again.

"Nikki? You okay, girl?" Magnet asked, looking worriedly at me as he walked over to my cot. He was already dressed and ready to go, but I had a feeling he wouldn't just leave me here.

"I hurt _everywhere!_" I complained.

"It looks like it," he tried to joke, but I didn't find it very funny. I glared up at him instead and he immediately got the picture. "Look, Nikki, it's normal to hurt. You'll get---"

"Do _not_ tell me I will get used to it. I do not _want_ to get used to it! I never want to feel like this ever again!"

I want to curl up in a hole and die, that's what I want to do. The ironic part is how easy that would be, considering I had a million holes to choose from.

X-Ray quickly walked over, "Come on, Nic, you can't stay here."

"_Why not?_" I whined, wanting to lie back down on my bed and sleep forever.

"If you aren't out there to dig, the Warden is going to find out and God only knows what that woman will do to you when she finds you…" he trailed off, sounding frightened.

"She?" I asked, confused.

Magnet nodded, "The Warden is like the biggest bitch on the planet, Nikki. The last thing you want to do is piss _her_ off."

I was surprised. I had no idea the Warden was a woman. This was tell-worthy news and _no one_ told me the Warden was a woman!

I sighed, and tried to stand up. Instead, I almost fell face forward. Almost.

Looking behind me, I found X-Ray holding me up. I then managed to regain my balance but just barely. I was a little wobbly and X-Ray seemed to be preparing to catch me again. "I think I'm going to need some help…" I said quietly.

Quickly, they helped me into my jumpsuit and boots, I tried to help but they seemed to know what they were doing and I would probably just slow them down. They got me outside a lot faster than I would have ever been able to, X-ray got me a shovel and Magnet got me breakfast. They were both so helpful, staying close to me and making sure I didn't fall on the walk out to the holes.

When we all got our places, I think they were planning to help me dig as well, but I quickly shooed them off.

"No, guys!" I finally spoke up. "Thanks for your help and all, but I have to dig this hole myself and you have to dig your own holes."

"But—" Magnet started, but I cut him off.

"_No_," I said as firmly as possible. He backed off, realizing I was serious. "I'm _fine_," I added, trying to reassure them.

Of course, I didn't _feel_ fine. I wasn't really sure if I could do this or not, but if it came to it, I was going die trying to finish this hole by myself. I didn't want their help when it came to this. The whole point of this camp was for each of us to dig a hole and I wasn't going to let them break the rules for me.

Magnet nodded and walked over to his spot, but X-Ray faltered. He still looked unsure of being so far away from me in case I collapsed again.

"Really, X, I'll be fine. The tortilla was just what I needed; it's given me the energy I need to do this." I managed to keep my voice firm and even so that he wouldn't know I was lying. Thankfully, he soon realized that I wasn't going to give in.

"Fine, but at least use this," he offered me his shovel. "The second hole's the hardest."

Confused, I quickly argued, "I already have a shovel."

He then proceeded to take my own shovel away from me and handed me his, "It's shorter than the rest."

I suddenly understood. Nodding to him, "Thanks, but this is just for today." I had to give in to his generosity this time, since he was determined to help me in any way possible, but never again. I was not a weakling. Finding a secret stash of strength in myself I didn't know I still had, I knew that I could get through today.

X-Ray went over to the spot where Mr. Sir told him to dig after one last look at me to make sure I was okay, and I quickly stuck the shovel in the dirt.

*

The morning water truck had gone by and it looked like it was almost time for Mr. Sir to bring it back out for another filling of the canteens and to give us our lunches.

Except for the morning canteen filling, I hadn't wasted a single second in digging my hole. I think I was digging even faster than I had yesterday, which was really saying something considering I was half-faint, sore down to the bone, and all of the bloody blisters on my hands felt like they had reopened. But I didn't dare take my gloves off today. I didn't want to look at my hands or anything else. I just wanted to dig this hole as fast as I possibly could. I didn't make conversation with the boys, I didn't even have my iPod today to distract me; all I had were my shades and bandana, which only helped with the sun, nothing else.

"Lunch time!" I heard Magnet yell out suddenly.

I stopped for a second, looking up to see the water truck coming our way.

"Finally," I muttered to myself. I was so hungry it wasn't even funny.

I continued digging until the truck eventually reached our section and stopped. Then, I threw down X-Ray's shovel, grabbed my canteen, and walked over to get in line just as I had done this morning, putting myself behind Armpit and in front my number one enemy. I didn't even want to think of his name. I was better off forgetting about him all together. Him and his stupid white t-shirt wrapped around his stupid messy brown hair and those stupid deep, beautiful brown eyes---

Ugh! What the fuck am I thinking? There is _nothing_ beautiful about his eyes or any other part of him!

I decided I must be dehydrated from being out in the hot sun all day. It was making me delusional. That had to be the reason why my stupid brain was going crazy.

Mr. Sir filled my canteen and handed me my lunch and I quickly exited the line to go sit down in my hole.

"Hey, how you doing?" Magnet asked, jumping into my hole and sitting down next to me.

"I'm fine, Mag," I responded, annoyed that he was still worried about me. "I swear, you don't have to worry about me. I'm not going to collapse."

At least, I hadn't done it yet.

He opened his brown paper bag and pulled out his sandwich. "I know, Nic, but you were in pretty bad shape this morning. We just want to make sure you really are okay."

"Well, I really _am_ okay, Magnet," I stated, taking a bite out of my own sandwich. I didn't even care what it was. I was so hungry that anything would taste good right now.

"Okay," he sounded like he'd finally stop talking about it. "But if you need someone to finish your hole for you, you let me know."

I groaned, but didn't speak. I can't believe he was still going on about this. Do they really think I'm that fragile? I was sent here for a reason, wasn't I? I have never been thought of as delicate or easily breakable. I earned my right to be here, just like everybody else.

*

I was almost finished, and I couldn't wait to be done and go back to camp so I could shower and most likely nap before dinner. That's all I wanted to do. That's all I cared about.

"Hey, Shades!" I heard Squid yell.

What the fuck was _he_ on about? I didn't care. I decided to just ignore him.

"Hey! _Girl_ with the _shades_! I know you can hear me!" He continued on.

"Man, I would give anything for some shade right now," I overheard Armpit saying to X-Ray.

Realizing he was apparently talking to me, I gave up on ignoring him because the longer I ignored him the longer he'd probably bother me. I stuck my shovel straight up in the dirt and looked out of my hole at him, "_What?_"

He was sitting next to his hole; taking a break from digging, I assumed.

"I just don't get it, why is it that you get shades and we don't?" He questioned.

"I'm sorry if I was the first juvenile delinquent who was smart enough to bring sunglasses! Is it that big of a deal?" I retorted angrily.

"Yeah, well, it's not like we really knew we'd end up _here_ when we chose Camp Green Lake! It sounded better than jail; that was all that mattered!" He argued.

"What do you mean you didn't know you were going to end up here?" I asked, confused. "No one told you what Camp Green Lake was like?"

"No," he had stopped digging and sat down in the dirt. "No one told me anything. It was this or jail, those were my options and I didn't have all day to make the decision. When there's a vacancy at Camp Green Lake it doesn't take long to be filled and the judge wanted his decision right then and there," I was surprised he was actually explaining this to me. It was almost like we were having a _real_ conversation.

"So?" I questioned. "You could have asked questions _after_ you made the decision. You could have gone on a computer and checked the place out on the internet! That's what I did," I pointed out. I pulled myself up and out of my hole to stand above them.

"Yeah, well, that was probably the last thing on my mind back then! I was just thrilled that I had an option that wasn't jail!" He yelled at me.

"That's because you're an idiot!" I yelled back. "What? Did you all come here thinking there was actually a lake and you'd be able to swim in it to cool off in the hot summer heat anytime you wanted?"

"Well… yeah," Caveman cut in before _he_ could say anything else.

I looked at him, shocked that he was putting himself in the middle of this. "Really?" I asked, still caught off guard. "You guys had no idea?" I looked around me to find all six of them shaking their heads at me. Zero was already back at camp, having finished his hole almost two hours ago. "The lake dried up about a hundred years ago…"

"Yeah, but _why_ did the lake dry up?" X-Ray cut into the conversation, jumping out of his hole and sitting down next to Squid.

"You've heard of Kissin' Kate Barlow, right?" I asked, deciding I should fill them in on the story. I sat down across from Squid and X-Ray and then the other boys gathered around us.

"Yeah, we know she was a teacher turned outlaw," Zigzag answered. "Everybody knows that."

"But do you know _why_ she became an outlaw?" I questioned, thinking this was quite serious information and that they should know about it.

None of them responded; a couple shook their heads as they considered the possibilities.

I had looked the whole story up online after I found out what Camp Green Lake would be like. I'm surprised they had never thought of using the internet to research this place. That was the first thing I wanted to do when I exited that courtroom after being given my final sentencing.

Of course, I didn't even live in Texas. But I could tell by Squid's accent that he did. And Zigzag, too. I figured that at least the two of them should have heard the story before.

I spoke slowly, wanting them to take in every detail. I thought the true story was way more interesting than any rumors people have created since about the mysterious woman.

"Well, Miss Katherine Barlow was the schoolteacher way back when there was a lake and a thriving town here. Green Lake had been known to be a beautiful town next to the largest lake in all of Texas. The Warden's grandfather, I believe, had owned the entire lake and half the town---"

"That's what Dr. Pendanski told me, when I found that fossil of the fish," Cavemen cut in.

I didn't let his interruption bother me; I just nodded to him and continued on with the story. "Well, her grandfather, Charles Walker, wanted to marry Miss Katherine, but she wouldn't even let him take her on a single date. She refused every advance he made and Charles Walker was a very proud man; he didn't take rejection well, especially when he spotted Miss Katherine kissing the onion picker, whose name was Sam. After that night, he raised havoc on Miss Katherine and gathered up a crowd of men who set fire to her schoolhouse."

"Why was her kissing an onion picker such a big deal? I mean, it's a free country, right?" X-Ray was the one to cut in this time.

I considered his words and then had to disagree, "If this was a free country, we wouldn't be here right now in order to escape jail," I quickly pointed out. "But back to the story. It wasn't because he was an onion picker, it was the fact that he was black, and at that day and time it was illegal for a black man to kiss a white woman. Anyway, Miss Katherine ran out of the schoolhouse screaming her head off at everyone for sending her most precious treasure up in flames and then she ran into the Sherriff's office. Needless to say, the Sherriff wasn't going to be any help to her; he was too busy getting drunk for the hanging. But, before she left, he asked her to kiss him, because if she could kiss the onion picker than she should be willing to kiss him, too. She refused, of course. Practically told him she'd rather be hung along with Sam. So, she ran out of there to go find Sam before the mob with their guns and torches did. She saw him, in his rowboat, fleeing from the site to the other side of the lake. But, unfortunately, his rowing wasn't fast enough for Charles Walker's brand new motorboat. Charles Walker killed him with a single shot and Miss Katherine watched Sam's body disappear into the boat."

"Damn," Squid commented, looking really into the story. "So, what happened after that?"

I grinned, "The next morning, Miss Katherine came into the Sherriff's office again; all dolled up like it was a special occasion. That was when she shot the Sherriff and kissed him on the cheek afterwards, her lips leaving the red stain of her lipstick upon his skin. She strolled right out of Green Lake after that and she was long gone by the time anyone found him. She's been a notorious outlaw ever since and it hasn't rained on Green Lake since the day they shot Sam.

"Man, that's sick," Armpit commented.

"Jeez, Chica, how do know all that?" Magnet asked, looking shocked.

I shrugged, "I know how to use the internet to do research."

Looking up at the sun, I noticed how high it was, "Shit!" I exclaimed. "We're supposed to be digging…"

"Oh, right," Squid said, looking like he'd forgotten all about digging. "We should get back to that."

"Everyone else is probably back at camp by now," Caveman pointed out.

'Damn," I muttered. "And I wanted a nap before dinner. Thanks a lot, Squid, way to distract me." Of course, I instantly blamed _him._ If he hadn't spoken to me in the first place we never would have wasted so much time.

"Hey, come on, Shade, don't be so hard on him, it's not his fault. He asked you a single question, he didn't mean for it to turn into you telling us a full-blown story like we're the students and you're the schoolteacher." X-Ray argued, standing up for his mate.

I didn't even listen to most of what he said. "What did you just call me?"

"Shade," X-Ray answered. "It's your name now, girl." He was grinning at me like a fool.

"Why Shade?" I asked, still confused as to how he had come up with it.

"Because shade is something every boy in this camp wants and it just so happens that they all want _you_, too," he explained.

"Yeah, chica," Magnet cut in. "You're like the equivalent of shade to most of them, you know? You've seen the way the other guys look at you, right? I mean, you're _hot_."

I'd seen the way they looked at me, but I was still trying to process how these guys had thought up all of this out here in the scorching heat.

I think X-Ray saw my confusion, "Look, it all started when Squid called you Shades and then Armpit was telling me how he wanted some shade and it all just came together in my head. It's the perfect nickname for you."

I nodded, still thoughtful.

"But if you don't like it---" X started, but I quickly stopped him.

"No, I like it," I stated, firmly.

"Cool," he said, looking pleased with himself.

"Just as long as none of _you guys_ want me in that way," I added. "Because that would just be weird. I mean, you're my tent mates and I have to live with all of you. The last thing I need right now is one of you thinking of me as more than a friend."

"We know, chica, you'll always be just one of the guys to us," Magnet chimed in.

"Good. I think I really should get back to digging my hole now," I said, standing and going back to my place. All the boys followed suit. I saw Squid eyeing me like he wanted to say something, but he quickly shook it off and went back to his digging.

*

I was finished pretty quickly. The other guys had already left me behind, mainly because I had told them to. X-Ray and Magnet did not need to worry about me anymore and I made sure they knew that when I sent them off.

Caveman was still digging when I finished and I decided to talk to him and keep him company.

"Hey, Caveman, almost done?" I asked, trying to be friendly.

He seemed a little surprised but it lasted no more than a couple seconds. "Yeah, I think so," he answered, continuing with his digging. "You know, you dig really fast for someone whose new here."

I laughed, "Don't you mean, I dig really fast for a _girl?_" I shot back, still in a pretty good mood since the story telling.

"No, I didn't mean that. I… I'm not used to doing anything this difficult. I'm really slow. I mean, you got done way faster yesterday than I had done on my first day here and let me tell you _it sucked_."

"Yeah, well, my first day sucked, too. So did my second day, at least it did this morning. It's gotten a little better but, then again, lately my moods have been changing as rapidly as a manic depressive's."

"Well, I applaud you for getting through today because, I swear, this morning you looked worse than I've ever seen anyone look. You could barely even walk the whole way out here. So, I don't blame Magnet and X for worrying about you." I was surprised to find him defending his tent mates.

"I know," I responded, looking away. I didn't like it when people pointed out how vulnerable I am.

"So, it looks like you and Squid are getting along better," he commented randomly. I think he was just trying to keep the conversation going so that we didn't enter an awkward silence.

"I don't even want to hear his name, honestly," I cut in, a little icily.

"But you two seemed fine this afternoon. You haven't argued since you told the story about Kissin' Kate Barlow," he pointed out, like the good friend he was.

"Yet," I quickly added. "I just don't know what his problem is."

"I don't get what he's done to make you so angry with him; you've only been here for two days."

"You think this is my fault?" I asked, feeling the need to defend myself. "He's the one who walked out on me when I first came here and refused to speak to me until the next day and that was just to comment on my hands!"

"Yeah, but instead of just trying to make nice with him, you drew up your walls and shut him out," he stated his opinion, which I could tell took some deep thinking. He was starting to sound like X-Ray.

"Because what he was doing was rude! Okay, I tried to be nice and joke and fit in, but he refused me! You can't just be rude one day and try to be nice the next, and then turn around and be even more rude after that! It just doesn't work that way!" I argued.

"Okay, Fine! Can we not argue because I really don't want to be second on your bad list?" He cut in, holding his hands up like he was surrendering to me. "I don't want to fight with you, so let's just call it a truce and change the subject?"

I looked at him skeptically, considering his point and finally nodded, "Fine. No more arguing."

I sat there for a couple minutes, not really knowing what to talk about, while he continued digging his hole. He really was a slow digger. Maybe he really didn't mean that I was fast for a girl, maybe he really did just mean that I was fast for someone who had never dug a hole before.

"You know, my great grandfather was robbed by Kissin' Kate Barlow," he restarted the conversation.

I was shocked at his sudden confession, "No way!" Was he for real? "What happened?"

"She left him stranded in the desert. He had made it big in the stock market and she took all of his money and left him out there to die with no food or water," he went on.

"Did he survive?" This was interesting news finding out Caveman was, in a way, connected to the infamous Kate Barlow.

"I wouldn't be here if he hadn't. He somehow managed to stay alive for sixteen days. He said he'd 'found refuge on God's thumb.'"

"What does that mean?" I asked, not getting it.

He shrugged, "No one knows. My grandfather said he was half-crazy when they found him."

"That's so cool," I commented. "Well, not that he was crazy but that this actually happened to your great grandfather."

"Yeah, well, what I don't get is why she didn't just kill him…"

"She was an outlaw, Caveman, and one with a little bit of morale. She didn't just kill _anyone_. Most outlaws set out for justice, not just killing anyone they came across."

"Yeah, but he would have died anyway. She must have known that," he argued.

"But he _didn't_." I thought about this for a second. "Maybe there really is such a thing as destiny. If she _had_ killed him, you'd never have been born."

"So?" he asked. "Why would that matter?"

I shrugged, "Maybe you were meant to be born."

He looked at me thoughtfully for a moment and then turned back to his hole.

After another minute he finally spoke again, "Well, I'm finished. Come on, let's head back to camp."

"Let's," I agreed, quickly standing up to help him out of his hole.

*****

And now you know where the title came from, although I wouldn't be surprised if someone had already figured that out. Next chapter is a super duper surprise! Ha! I can't wait! But, you all will have to wait until tomorrow.


	6. Think About It

I think moving it down to Teen for now is really helping me get some readers. I have 136 hits now! It's so exciting! But on with the super duper surprise I promised you all!

**Chapter Six**

**Think About It**

The third day was a little bit better than the second; I hurt like hell all over again when I woke up but at least I was able to dress myself this time. X-Ray saw this as a good sign. "It means you're getting stronger," he said, "Soon enough the pain won't even bother you anymore." Of course, this pain was still not something I ever wanted to get used to, but I knew that I would have to if I wanted to make it through this whole ordeal.

Today really wasn't so bad. No one bothered me. Squid kept his distance, except for when we were lining up for water as he was always just behind me then, but he didn't talk to me. So, I assumed we were now at a silent truce. Caveman was right, we had been fine yesterday. I mean, sure, we had _almost_ gotten into a fight but when I realized they knew nothing about this place I had treated him like I would treat any of the other tent members and he didn't really argue with me. He had just been trying to tell me where he stood when he had chosen Camp Green Lake.

Maybe we could get along, I thought to myself as the day passed, even if it was just getting along in silence right now. It didn't bother me so much when I considered how easy it was for me to get ticked off when he actually did open his mouth to speak to me.

Thankfully, the boys were all willing to keep me safe while I showered. X-Ray went with me the first day. I had asked Caveman the second day. He was a little weird about it though.

"_I don't think that's such a great idea," he had answered when I asked him for his help._

"_Why not?" I asked, confused._

"_I'm just not the best choice, you know. I would never be able to stand up to one of these guys. You could probably fight them off better than I ever could. I was always the one getting beaten up, not the other way around. I wouldn't be able to fight to save my own life, let alone yours." He explained, he appeared modest but I quickly realized that the innocence I saw in him was just that, complete and utter innocence. _

"_You _really_ don't belong here, do you?" I observed out loud, surprised at my discovery._

"_What do you mean?" He asked, taken aback._

"_You've never done a single wrong thing in your life, have you?" I asked, curious._

_He looked too embarrassed to answer, but he had no reason to be. We were the only ones in the tent, as everyone else was in the Wreck Room. He looked at the ground and shook his head, "I got arrested for stealing Clyde Livingston's World Series cleats."_

"_Sweetfeet?" I asked, surprised. I didn't care much for baseball, but even I knew who Sweetfeet was. "But you didn't actually steal them?" I was trying to get him to go on._

"_No," he answered after a few moments of silence. "I was walking home from school and they just came out of nowhere, fell out of the sky and hit me in the back of the head. I didn't know they were Sweetfeet's shoes at the time. They smelled awful though which was why I wanted to take them home. You see, my dad's been working on a cure for foot odor and I knew he'd want to check them out."_

"_I believe you," I said._

"_Yeah, well, no one else did, not the judge or the jury and Clyde Livingston probably hates me now. The shoes had been donated to this orphanage to be auctioned off in order to raise money for the children there; the same orphanage Clyde Livingston grew up in. He thinks I'm a horrible person now for stealing from homeless children."_

"_That's awful," I commented. _

_He nodded and then decided to change the subject. "We should go get cleaned up before the dinner bell rings."_

_I nodded, "You really don't have to worry about protecting me; you just have to shower in the stall next to me on one of the ends so that no one has a reason to walk by my stall, because the two on the end will be taken. Okay?"_

_He agreed._

And I was right, nothing happened during my shower. It really was a full-proof plan.

Caveman had to shower in the stall next to me again today. We had finished around the same time, which was surprising considering I wasn't digging any slower than I had the two days before. "Looks like you're getting faster," I said, grinning at him as we walked back to camp together.

He laughed, "I hope so."

When we were back in the tent, putting away our dirty clothes before we went into the Wreck Room, Dr. Pendanski walked into the tent.

"Nicola, the Warden has asked to see you," he stated, tentatively.

"What?" I responded, not sure what to think of his message.

"The Warden has asked me to bring you to her," he clarified.

I did not trust this man. I did not think of him as 'Mom,' as the other boys did. The last thing he reminded me of was my mother. Besides, when everything he said was either a lie or an insult, I knew I had a right to dislike him.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked.

"I don't know, Nicola. She just told me to bring you to her. She said she wanted to speak to you. Now come on, you don't want to keep the Warden waiting."

I looked at Caveman and he shrugged back at me in response. Obviously the Warden did not just randomly ask the delinquents to come to her. I had no idea what to expect or what she might want from me. As far as I could tell I hadn't done anything wrong. Maybe she decided that she didn't want me here. Maybe she was sending me back to go to jail instead. I really hope not, I was just starting to get used to this place.

Silently, I followed Pendanski out to the pretty little pink house with two trees hanging over it. The only trees in this whole desert. I was anxious, Magnet had said she was 'the biggest bitch on the planet,' and she wanted to see _me_.

Dr. Pendanski knocked on the door. I stood behind him, staying perfectly still.

I saw a glimpse of her as she glanced through the curtain to see who it was. When she saw that is was Pendanski and I, she quickly opened the door. "Well, send her in."

I couldn't move. I felt like I was glued to the spot. Pendanski had to shove me over the threshold and then walked in behind me.

"Excuse me, what do you think you're doing?" The Warden asked him, her voice was harsh and her glare was cold.

"I'm her counselor," Pendanski answered, as if it were obvious. "Shouldn't I be here if you're going to punish her?"

"Did I ask you to be here?" She questioned. "No, I asked you to bring her to me. You've brought her. You're job is done, now leave."

Oh boy. This was worse than I thought it would be.

After a moment of silence and the Warden glaring at Pendanski, he finally exited the little house to go back to do whatever counselors do when they aren't driving the water truck or having meetings with their groups.

The moment the door shut behind him, her icy stare warmed over and she smiled at me, "Hello, Shade. It's nice to finally meet you."

I didn't know how to respond. I wasn't used to people who could pull a 180 on me like that.

She ushered me over to the chair in front of her desk, "Here, sit. Can I get you anything? How about some iced tea?"

Okay this was awkward. How was I to respond to this? I was expecting her to yell at me or tell me I was being sent back to Phoenix. "So… I'm not in trouble?" I asked tentatively, not wanting to sound too rude.

She laughed, "Of course not, dear, why would you think that?"

"Well, why else would ask me here?" I inquired, assuming she didn't think my questions impolite.

"The boys warned you about me, didn't they?" She quickly caught on.

"They might have mentioned you," I tried to be discreet. "Honestly, I didn't even know you were a woman until yesterday."

She smirked, "You're not in trouble, Shade. I just brought you here to have a little chat. You know, just us girls."

So, she was to be _girlfriends_ with me? Yeah, that's it. The Warden and the only female delinquent; we could be best friends. Wouldn't that be just dandy? I felt like I was in some sort of freak show.

I might as well go with it. "Okay, iced tea would be wonderful," I declared.

"Wonderful," she smiled. "I hope you don't mind if it's peach tea?"

I shook my head, "Not at all."

"Perfect," she responded. "I'll be right back."

She went into another room, I assumed it was the kitchen, and came back a minute later with two glasses of peach tea with straws. "Here you go," she handed me mine and then sat down with her own behind the desk.

"Thank you," I smiled, taking a sip. It was actually really good. I felt like I hadn't had iced tea in months, even though I'd only been here for three days.

"I'm glad you're here, Shade, I rarely have female company anymore."

I didn't doubt it, but I wasn't done with questioning her.

"How do you know my name?" I asked. I was surprised that she knew the nickname I was just given yesterday.

"I know everyone's nickname and real name. It's part of the job. It's been a tradition ever since I started this place, the boys decided to be someone else while they're here. I suppose it makes their lives a little bit easier, pretending they aren't their true selves. It seems to help them get through their time here, keeps them from missing home too much."

I nodded, that actually made some sense to me. I mean, they are just taken out of their lives and put here to dig holes far away from civilization. It's a hard thing to get used to.

"It's what gives them a sense of family when they are so far away from their real home…" I stated thoughtfully.

"Exactly," she said. "I think it calms them down a little. It makes them apart of this place and keeps them from rebelling." She stared at me for a little bit; I stared back, sipping my tea every now and then.

I couldn't help but think of how when Magnet called her 'the biggest bitch on the planet,' I couldn't help but wonder what she must look like, a woman stuck out here with a limited amount of resources. I was surprised to find she was actually quite pretty. Her hair was a lovely red color, thin with some curl to it. Her blue eyes were rather stunning when she wasn't glaring at you. She was fair-skinned with the freckles that come with being a redhead. She was wearing a simple, light blue blouse, jeans, and tan cowgirl boots.

"You're very pretty," she commented.

I laughed, "I was just thinking the same thing about you." Surprisingly enough, I was actually quite comfortable in her presence now that I had no need to be worried. I could tell she wasn't like those girls that I lived to hate.

"You're smart, too," she added. "I can tell. You'll definitely go far with those two traits, no matter how you end up doing it."

"You think so?" I asked, honestly curious about her opinion of me.

"I do," she stated seriously. "You've already gotten pretty far here. I heard about X-Ray ranking you third in your tent, and before you even got a nickname. I must admit, that is quite an honor to earn on your first day."

I blushed, I wasn't used to this much praise. "He only respects me because I'm the first girl to ever make it in here," I explained.

"I think there's more to it than that, Shade," she stated. "You have a way with the boys. They're very taken with you."

Boys had always been taken with me. I didn't think it was that big of a deal.

"You could probably get anything you want from these guys," she added.

"So?" I asked. "What does it matter?"

She shrugged, "You tell me."

"I don't understand," I told her.

"Is there anything you'd like me to get for you? Anything you want or need?" She seemed to be implying something but I couldn't quite decipher the code.

I stayed silent; staring at her and the walls around her as I tried to come up with something that would explain her strange behavior. I didn't know what she was trying to tell me.

"How about I let you think about it. You can go back to your tent; it should be almost dinner time by now. You can come back when you know what you want," she stood up and I slowly did the same, following her over to the door. "Okay…" I said, still really lost in all of this.

"Oh, and I need to know when you'll be needing those tampons you mentioned to Mr. Sir."

"My period always comes the last week of the month. I'm also on birth control."

"So, you're going to need a prescription refilled every month," I nodded. "I got the first three months in advance, but after that I'm going to need to order some more. I can give you the prescription."

"Alright then," she nodded, "And what kind of supplies would you prefer?"

I told her exactly what I wanted, making sure she knew not to get me anything generic. There was no way I was putting up with cheap tampons for a whole year and a half, I was uncomfortable enough here.

She understood completely though, and I had to remind myself that she was a woman, too. "I'll put it in the next order. The supply truck only comes once a month."

"Thank you," I said, still unsure about her smiling face. "Am I supposed to pretend we didn't just have this conversation when they ask me why you wanted to see me?"

She smiled even wider, "See, I knew you were smart. Just pretend I'm the same evil woman they told you I was. Keeping up a good pretense is necessary when you're running a facility such as this. Oh, and when you figure out what you want, try to be discreet about coming back. Don't just walk over here when other people are around."

I nodded, understanding, and she then opened the door for me and I quickly left her cabin, hurrying back to my tent. Thankfully, no one was around to see me leave. I entered D-Tent, it was empty but that didn't surprise me. I'm sure Caveman had left shortly after Pendanski made me follow him to the Warden's cabin, so he could go tell the others what had happened. I didn't doubt that I'd be grilled with questions during dinner. I had to come up with a good lie. I could tell them she just wanted to ask me about my menstrual cycle, but that was probably the _last_ thing they wanted to hear.

*****

Now who saw THAT coming? Hahahaha! Please stay tuned for further updates! Cheerio, darlings, cheerio! xoxo.

P.S. I LOVE REVIEWS!


	7. I Want Answers

So, I know this took FOREVER (almost 5 days) to update. I had it written and I was thinking about rewriting the part I thought I had messed up (I mentioned this in the last chapter) but then I accidentally (and in total shocking seriousness) deleted the entire chapter. I was so pissed at my stupidity and I am SO SORRY for making you all wait, but after I lost the chapter it just took me out of the writing mood I was in and it took forever to rewrite this chapter. It probably sucks, but I'm hoping I at least made it better in some areas.

Thank you EVERYONE for checking out my story! I now have over 400 hits! (Of course, I have no idea exactly what the difference is between hits and visitors… if someone could enlighten me, that'd be cool.) I have people from five different countries looking at my story and that's super exciting! Go America for having over 300 hits! But I'd also like to give a shout out to everyone NOT from America! I appreciate all of you for taking your time to check out some ridiculous fanfic that I (a nobody) made up!

**Chapter Seven**

**I Want Answers**

"So, Shade, what did the Warden want with you?" X-Ray asked me just moments after I sat down at the table with my tray of slop and bread at dinner.

Just as I had suspected, Caveman had ran off to inform X-Ray and the other D-Tenters about the Warden asking to see me. I looked up to find seven pairs of eyes on me, just waiting to see what I would say.

"She just wanted to make sure that I knew that no special treatment would be given to me while I'm here," I answered. "Then she warned me of the horrible punishment I would get if she ever found out that I was distracting you boys from digging your holes."

I waited, patiently, for X-Ray to respond. He looked thoughtful for a moment, and then shocked. "She threatened you?" He asked angrily.

It worked. He believed the simple lie.

I nodded, staying serious.

He shook his head, still angry.

The conversation then carried on from there as the other boys jumped in to speak their minds.

I smiled, inwardly, at how easy that had actually been but then my mind went on to contemplate what the hell the Warden had meant back in the cabin.

The way she had talked, it sounded like she knew something about me. Like she knew the real reason as to why I was arrested, but I had no idea how that was possible. No one knew. And the ones who did know… well, they would never admit it to anyone!

So, how did she know? Did she even _know_? What if she was just trying to _imply_ what I could do with the boys?

But why would she do that?

*

After dinner, I walked with the boys back to D-Tent, where I immediately took out my journal and a pen. It was high time I started writing down how life was treating me here before I went insane from keeping it all bottled up inside. It wasn't a real journal, like the ones that come with a lock and key but in reality that key will open any other diary you stumble upon. It was just a regular notebook with a dark purple cover, three holes for three-ring binders, and college-ruled pages.

It was new though. I didn't want to write in my old journal while I was here. I wanted to separate my time at Camp Green Lake from the rest of my life.

Plus, this notebook had a calendar in the front so that I could keep track of the date and how long I was here. Opening it, I quickly took my pen and marked off the last three days with an X.

Then I turned to the very first page and wrote _Eighteen Months at Camp Green Lake_ at the very top.

"Hey Shade, what are you writing over there?" X-Ray asked, looking over at me curiously as he played Go Fish with the other boys.

I looked up, surprised, and then stiffened. "Nothing," I said, warningly. I didn't want them reading my journal. It was strictly for my own benefit and amusement, not theirs.

X-Ray nodded once at me and then quickly returned to the game. I think he got the message.

Now, what to write about? Maybe I should just start with the camp.

_September 9, 2008_

_Camp Green Lake is probably the hottest place in the United States. It's located somewhere in the bottom of Texas and it hasn't rained here in about 100 years. The camp is surrounded by a 100 mile radius of dirt, dirt, and more dirt. It's barren land, basically. Don't let the name fool you, there is no lake here at Camp Green Lake. There used to be a lake, back when there was still a town here, before Charles Walker killed an innocent black man and the schoolteacher, Miss Katherine Barlow, became the famous outlaw, Kissin' Kate Barlow. I would have loved to see what this placed looked like way back then when the lake had been the biggest lake in all off Texas. Now, it's just barren dirt with several rundown buildings in the midst of it all. At Camp Green Lake there is a Mess Hall, where the delinquents eat their dinners; the Wreck Room, where the delinquents can lounge, after digging all day, before dinner; Mr. Sir's office, where the newcomers are first sent; a supplies room, where the laundry is done and everything is stored; a counselor's office, where the counselors spend their lazy, boring days; seven huge tents made of green canvas and wood, the delinquents sleep in the first six (labeled A-F) and the counselors sleep in the seventh tent. Originally, there were seven cots in the tents, but recently the Warden decided to put in an eighth cot in order to have six more diggers; that's how I scored a spot here. Now the Warden has forty-eight diggers, and out of all of them I am the only female here, besides the Warden of course._

_Yes, the Warden is a charming woman when she wants to be, but she's the last person you want to mess with. One of the first rules I was told to follow was "do not upset the Warden." Later, one of my tent mates informed me that she was "the biggest bitch on the planet." When she asked to see me today, I was absolutely terrified. I didn't know what I had done wrong and I was worried she was going to send me home just when I was starting to get the hang of this place. But when she finally had me alone, she surprised me by actually being nice to me. She treated me like I was a special guest in her home. She even gave me iced tea! Peach flavored iced tea! But she's a little weird, too. I think she knows something about me no one else is supposed to know. But if she does know the truth, then I have no idea why she'd be willing to let me come here. She seems too nice, too… generous. I have a feeling she wants something from me and I'm going to find out what it is._

_Besides her, I've only met Mr. Sir and Dr. Pendanski. I haven't met any of the other counselors, but I doubt I will anyway. Mr. Sir, as I said, is the first person you meet when you arrive at Camp Green Lake. He checks in the newcomers, gets them changed into the orange jumpsuits we have to wear and other such things. Dr. Pendanski is the counselor for D-Tent and, if you ask me, a complete douchebag. He says all this crappy feely stuff when you arrive like "You may have done some bad things but that does not make you a bad person" and "I respect you." But I saw right through his bullshit. He's an even bigger jerk than Mr. Sir in all seriousness. These are the only two "counselors" who run the water truck every day and give the announcements and digging assignments. I'm pretty sure that they both rank just below the Warden here at Camp Green Lake because they are the ones who are always in charge when she's not around._

_Next in line are my tent members or my fellow D-Tenters, as I like to call them. First, there's X-Ray; he's the so-called leader of the group. He's the one who usually gives the newcomers a hard time but surprisingly he didn't do the same with me. When I asked him why, he said that, as a girl, I had earned my right to be here just by agreeing to go to an all-boys detention camp. Deep down, I think he really is a decent guy, he just acts tough. Armpit is like X-Ray's sidekick, sort of. He's the first person to agree with him and the last person to oppose him. Then again, that's not always a bad thing. He likes to keep the peace. Of course, he's pretty big in size so no one's ever tried to mess with him in the first place. Squid is third in rank, well, actually that's a lie. I'm third in rank (thanks to X-Ray) so Squid is actually fourth in rank. Anyway, Squid hates me, I think. He seemed okay when I first met him and he was told to be my mentor, but then all of a sudden he did a 180 and just stopped talking to me. The next day, after having dug a good deal of my hole, he decided to speak to me by commenting on my blistered and bloody hands and that ticked me off. We got into an argument and then he walked off again. The day after that he tried talking to me again, and we almost got into another fight, but then I ended up having to inform the six of them still there about Kissin' Kate Barlow. We haven't spoken to each other since. I'm not quite sure what that means, but I'm hoping we might learn to accept each other in silence and maybe eventually we'll actually be able to have a conversation without fighting. I really don't know. After him, there's Zigzag; he's Squid's best friend here, I believe. He's crazy though, honestly. He's always coming up with these weird theories about cameras and spies. He must suffer from paranoia, or even paranoid schizophrenia, to actually believe any of that. There is nothing special about Camp Green Lake and it's probably the last place you'd ever find a spy. No one cares about juvenile delinquent boys. Next, there's Magnet. I definitely like this kid, as a friend of course. He was the first person to really welcome me here and help me out. He was the first one to accept my being here and when he first spoke to me it was like we had known each other forever. Caveman comes after him, he's the newest one here, besides me, and the slowest digger. I don't know him well but I think we're becoming good friends. Of course, he's not like the other guys. He's thoughtful and truly a nice guy. He honestly does not belong in a place like this, I belong here even more than he does and I'm the only girl! But he got the blame for something he didn't do, and according to the justice system he's got to pay the price for it. Zero's last out of all of us, but I don't have much of an opinion about him. He's one of the smallest campers and the fastest digger here, but he's never said a word as far as I know. _

_Well, that's all I can say for tonight, it's almost time for lights out._

I was surprised I had written that much and it was almost 9:00. The lights went off early so that we could get seven hours of sleep in order to be able to dig our holes.

I quickly closed my notebook and put it back into my backpack and then I got out my toothbrush and toothpaste and headed for the bathroom. Next to the showers there was a small little room with a couple sinks and toilets for the campers. Mind you, we may have to go use a hole if we need a bathroom during the day, but at night it was safer to have a toilet because it was harder to detect yellow spotted lizards if they were living in the hole you decided to use.

I went to the sink, rinsed my toothbrush, added toothpaste to it and started brushing my teeth. Shortly after, someone came in to do the same. I turned to see that it was Squid.

Great, just what I need. One on one time with my worst enemy.

He prepared his toothbrush and began brushing his teeth beside me.

Well, at least he cares about his dental hygiene, I divulged. And he _did_ take showers daily. Good hygiene is something most girls find necessary in a guy, I know I do.

I spit in the sink and cupped my hands to bring the water up to my mouth in order to rinse out the toothpaste. He did the same. We both wiped our mouths and headed back to the tent, him in front of me.

I wondered if it was too early to try talking to him.

"Squid?" I asked, hesitantly.

"What do you want?" He asked curtly, not bothering to look at me.

Okay, so much for trying to be nice…

"What _is_ your deal?" I asked angrily.

He stopped and turned around to face me. I stopped, too, looking straight into his face.

"What is _my_ deal?" He repeated. "What is_ your_ deal? You're the one who's being a bitch."

Now _that_ was out of line.

"Excuse me?" I asked; I saw him twitch at those words. "You're the one who refuses to talk to me for no reason!" Somewhere deep down I knew shouting wasn't going to help, but the part of my brain that was in control right now didn't really care.

"Just because I didn't tell _you_ what my reasons were, doesn't mean I don't have them!" He yelled.

"You didn't tell _anyone!_" I yelled back.

"Because it's nobody's business! It's mine! Maybe if you didn't blow up at me every time I _did_ try to talk to you, I'd actually care to share!"

"Woah! Whoa!" I heard X-Ray cut in, quickly coming out of the tent to separate us. Armpit, Magnet, Zigzag, and Caveman had followed him. "Are you guys _trying_ to wake up the counselors? Or would you prefer to get in trouble with the Warden instead?" His tone was full of sarcasm and a little bit of anger.

Neither of us responded.

Squid just shoved X-Ray aside with his shoulder as he forced his way through the guys and headed back into the tent.

I watched him leave, glaring defiantly at his back as I mulled over what he had just said. Like he'd ever share his reasons with me, like he'd ever want to have a serious conversation with me.

"Shade, what's going on?" Caveman broke the silence, watching me with worry in his eyes.

I just followed Squid's example and shoved my way through them, heading for the tent. I didn't want to talk about it, obviously. Inside, I saw Squid lying face down on the cot next to mine, still in his jumpsuit. He didn't even bother to pull back the sheet. I tore my eyes away from him before I decided to do something stupid, like jump on him and strangle him to death. I reached my cot, ripped back the sheet and got into bed, also in my jumpsuit. I didn't care. I had a feeling I wasn't going to get much sleep tonight and that pissed me off even more.

The other boys came back into the tent, probably eyeing the two of us carefully and suspiciously. The lights were already out so they each got into their own cots to go to sleep.

*

An hour had gone by since we had all gone to bed. I was pretty sure by now that everyone else was asleep. The boys were motionless in their slumber, a couple of them were snoring.

I couldn't sleep. I was still pissed off at Squid for being so rude to me. And what did he mean anyway? '_Maybe if you didn't blow up at me every time I did try to talk to you, I'd actually care to share!'_

He would be the last person to ever share anything personal with me. He probably just wanted me to feel guilty for fighting with him all the time. It was just his way of making it all _my_ fault.

Well he can forget about that. This is not _all_ my fault. It's partly his fault, too.

You know what, why am I even thinking about this? Why do I care?

I don't care. He's just a jerk who gets on my nerves.

I can't let him get on my nerves anymore. From now on, I should just ignore all of his antics and act like he's not there.

I'm better off without him anyway.

But this isn't going to help me sleep. I've still got other issues to worry about besides him, like the Warden.

I wonder if she was still awake…

Well, I'm definitely not getting any sleep tonight…

I quietly pulled the covers off of me and sat up to put my boots on without making any noise. The last thing I needed was to wake someone up while I was trying to escape to the Warden's cabin. Especially since the person I'd probably wake up first would be Squid, as he only slept three feet away from me.

Once my shoes were on, I finally stood up and, as silently as possible, I tiptoed my way out of the tent.

Outside, I was finally alone. Of course, that's because everyone else was asleep, including the counselors.

I relished in the cool night air for a moment, enjoying the few seconds of being alone for once. It was hard to have time to myself now that I had the boys watching my back at all times. I know I've only been here for a couple days, but it's hard to be alone when X-Ray is so determined to keep me safe, and in order to keep me safe, the boys can't leave me alone.

Sighing deeply at the thought, I finally turned to the Warden's cabin. Her lights were on, just like I hoped. Of course, _she _didn't need to get up at 4:30 in the morning. She probably didn't bother to get up until 10:00.

Checking my surroundings again and finding everything clear, I quickly made my way over to the little cabin with the only two trees in a one hundred mile radius. I stopped as I reached her door, hesitating for the first time tonight.

Okay, I can do this. I took a deep breath and knocked softly on the door.

I only waited a few seconds before I heard hushed footsteps coming from inside. "Who in the hell could that be?" I heard her say to herself, she sounded annoyed, just before she opened the door, without even bothering to check the window, and stood before me in her blue silk pajamas.

"Hi," I spoke cautiously. Maybe this was a bad idea.

"Oh, it's you," she said, looking softer than before. "Come in, I was just watching TV." She backed away from the door and I quickly did as she asked. She shut the door the moment I entered and then went over to the couch up pick of the remote control and turn off the TV. I got a quick glimpse of The News before the screen went black.

Then she turned around and smirked at me, "So, have you finally figured out what you want?"

I nodded, walking over and sitting down on the couch without even bothering to ask. Once I was settled, with my legs curled up underneath me, I finally replied. "Yes, I want answers."

She definitely looked surprised this time, "Excuse me?"

Ah, the boys had told me about that. When she said those two words you were definitely crossing the line. But I think they were just spoken out of habit this time around. I hadn't done anything wrong. Besides, she didn't sound threatening, just confused.

"I want to know what it is that _you_ know about me," I clarified.

She slowly walked over and sat down on the couch next to me, curling up into her own end of the sofa. "I don't know what you mean."

I examined at her carefully; she didn't look like she was telling the truth. "I don't believe you. You know _something_."

"What makes you think I know something?" She asked, sounding a little startled.

"I know when people are lying to me. What did you mean when you asked me if there was anything I wanted earlier today?" I wasn't going to stop asking questions until she gave me some real answers.

She shook her head as if she didn't understand.

"Don't try to bullshit me here. You were trying to tell me something, what, with all that '_you have a way with the boys_' and '_you could probably get anything you want from these guys_.' What the hell is that supposed to mean? And don't lie to me either. Now, tell me the truth, are you implying that I fuck these guys or not?"

Her mouth suddenly grew into a wide smirk. "You really are smart," was all that she said.

I was getting so frustrated I probably growled at her. "Would you _stop_ saying that! I _know_ I'm smart! I don't need you or anyone else to tell me that."

Se shifted on the couch so that her whole body now faced me, "I'm sorry."

"So are you going to answer my questions or not?" I demanded.

She sighed and then nodded. "To be honest, I don't exactly _know_ anything. You see, when you first started your trial, the judge knew you were going to be sent somewhere and as it was made clear early on that you were too hostile for a girls' detention facility, and no _real_ boys' facility was going to allow you in, she decided to contact me. We still had one more spot open after choosing to take on an extra six boys and she thought this would be the best place, without girls, to send you because it is the most isolated detention center in America. Surprisingly enough, I didn't think it would be such a bad idea to have a girl here but…. I knew I could not allow just _any_ girl into my camp. Many girls your age would never be able to handle living in a place like this, working hard every single day, especially with no weekends or vacations. So, I decided to contact your parents, I asked them to write me a letter explaining what type of person you were and if they believed you could handle being at Camp Green Lake for more than a year."

She paused, smirking to herself as she remembered something that was apparently amusing.

"The letter I got back from your mother was a lot shorter than what I was expecting, and rather curt, but it told me a lot about the kind of person you were."

I worried as to what in the world my mother could have said that was so funny to her. I wondered how much my mother would actually tell a stranger about me. I figured my parents were the type of people who would never tell anyone of their child's mishaps, too ashamed to admit them, but what if they were willing to tell them to this woman?

"She basically said that you were very _smart,_ very talented, and _extremely_ determined. She said that you were the type of person who could surpass any challenge I gave you, no matter what. But she also mentioned that you had a sort of _history_ with boys, though she didn't say what exactly, but she thought that maybe Camp Green Lake wasn't the best place for you considering the things you have done in the past."

Now, I was confused. "So, did you just decide to overlook that part?" I asked.

She shook her head, "No, Shade, I haven't overlooked it. I've just… decided that your history wasn't really relative to you digging holes here."

"I don't understand…" I cut in, still utterly confused.

"Shade, I don't care what you do with these boys. If you want to go have sex with them, it really doesn't bother me as long as you don't get caught."

My eyes widened in disbelief. "You can't be serious," I said, shocked at what she was telling me.

"I am serious," she replied. "Although I hope you don't have sex with just anyone or everyone…"

I scoffed at her, "I'm smart, remember? Besides, I'm not your average smart girl; I'm also quite clever and creative. I'm not going to hook up with just _anyone_. I'm well-learned in picking out the _right_ ones."

"The right ones?" She asked, intrigued.

"The ones who are willing to do anything I say to get what they want, who are willing to keep their mouths shut, _and_ actually have something that I want. I always take my time in picking out the good ones."

"Is that how you did it in your private school?" She asked, curious.

I nodded, "I was doing business with the richest guys in school." I looked away from her, glancing around the room instead. "That's actually how I ended up in court in the first place," I finally admitted. "Of course, it didn't come up in court as you won't find any mention of it in my file. But… those girls I beat up; well, they were the biggest prudes in the school. They refused to give their boyfriends, the ones I was fucking, what they wanted."

"So, the boys turned to you," she asked.

I nodded, "One of my clients had informed them of my services and they decided to check up on it. We each made a deal and they promised to keep it a secret. But somehow the girls figured it out after several months; that was why they were threatening me. But they refused to even come to the trial, let alone testify against me. They were ashamed to admit that they didn't know how to really satisfy their boyfriends and their parents were too ashamed to be involved with the trial at all."

"Well, I don't care how you pick them here, just remember not to get caught and don't let me _ever_ catch any of those boys digging your hole for you. That is one thing I never tolerate. Everyone digs their own holes here at Camp Green Lake." She had started off soft, but once the idea of me getting other boys to dig holes for me came into the picture her voice turned stern.

I nodded again, "I understand completely. I would never let any of those boys dig my hole for me, no matter what."

I think I surprised her with the amount of seriousness in my voice.

She nodded after a moment, believing me. "So, how do you plan to choose your prey here?" Automatically, she was back to being quite interested in my tactics.

I smirked, "Well, D-Tent is off-limits, obviously. They are the _last_ people I want knowing about this. And, well, because there are less than fifty guys here, I'd probably just stick with two or three of them, that way it's easier to keep it on the down-low. Those two or three guys would be from different tents, in order to minimize their contact with each other. I don't need them being in close proximity, because that would risk them discovering each other and possibly fighting over me, and like I said, I need to keep this on the down-low. I can usually read people really well; I'll probably observe all the boys in the Wreck Room for the next week or two until I can single out the winners and then after that I just have to get them to agree."

"Wow," she spoke up. "I'm very impressed. This plan might actually work."

"It's worked so far," I responded, shrugging it off.

"But this is different, Shade. These boys are criminals; they're not like the rich boys back in Phoenix _and_ they won't be paying in cash."

I nodded, "I know, which is why I plan to take my time with picking them out. The last thing I want to do is make a mistake."

"So, now that you have everything planned out, I assume you've figured out what is it you're going to want from me?" She spoke up, returning to the original topic.

I grinned knowingly, "Yeah, I think I have."

*

Well, thanks for reading! Remember: I LOVE REVIEWS!

I'm a little upset that during my rewriting of this chapter, I lost all my hits. I was so close to 400 and then I signed on the next morning and it told me I had 0 hits and visitors. I don't know if it resets after an entire week has passed or not though. Guess I'll find out in another week?

Plus, I have a question for anyone who knows the answer! I've been reading quite a few other Holes fanfics and, well, several of them mention how Squid was caught for stealing from people's houses to survive and Zigzag burned down his school or school gym or something like that. But from what information I got from the book and the movie, I am only positive about Zero's, Stanley's, and Magnet's actions for getting caught and being put in Camp Green Lake. So, if someone knows what Squid, Zigzag, X-Ray, and Armpit did to get into Camp Green Lake PLEASE LET ME KNOW! Also, is Armpit's name really from him smelling bad or the scorpion stinging him in the armpit (cause that's come up in several of the stories I've read as well)? Any info you can give me is super appreciated! Thanks!

xoxo.


	8. It's Just a Game

Hey guys! Sorry it's taken so long for me to update. I just sort of lost my story. Not the documents, like I did last chapter, but the one I was forming in my head. I just sort of lost the inspiration to continue writing it. But I'm trying to get back on track and connect the dots again.

Anyway, this chapter, Chapter Eight, probably sucks but I'm trying to make the best of what I've got.

Thank you to everyone who helped me by answering my questions at the end of Chapter Seven! It's all super appreciated!

Okay, so this chapter has been written and reread and edited by me a couple of times. This would have been posted sooner, but I was trying to get a beta, well, I got someone to agree to beta, but I don't think it's going to work out. So, I might just forget about the whole beta idea for a while. Although, I did complete my own beta reader profile and am accepting requests, if any of my readers want one… I'm a little worried about it because I've never beta-ed before, but I'll do my best.

P.S. (and I've been dying to tell you guys this for _weeks!_) I had watched Holes again just before my writer's block settled in, of course I was watching Holes practically every day when I first started writing this story just so I could observe and study Squid and the other boys' actions and demeanors. But this last time, I had actually watched it instead with the commentary of Shia LaBeouf, Jake M. Smith, Max Kasch, and Khleo Thomas as they watched the movie themselves for the first time, I assume. It definitely made the movie a whole lot funnier (especially since, you know, just watching the movie by itself over and over again can get boring). Plus they mention a lot about the making and point out things I hadn't even noticed before.

**Chapter Eight**

**It's Just a Game**

I walked back to my cot that night a little unsure about what to think of the Warden. I didn't know why she was willing to let me do what I wanted to. I worried that this could lead to trouble later on. She seems to have taken to me _too_ well, but what if she was playing me? What if she wanted me to get in trouble so she could send me back to Phoenix? Or maybe she was waiting until the right time to use the information against me.

I was hoping that she really meant what she said tonight. I hope that she really saw us as '_just us girls_.'

I have never hoped for a real friend as much as I do now, but that's because I had every right to be afraid of this woman and what she could do to me.

I entered the tent as quietly as possible, unbuttoning my jumpsuit as I walked over to my cot, stripping down to a tank top and boy boxers.

"Where'd you go?" I heard someone whisper.

I turned around swiftly, terrified that someone had seen me come into the tent a little after midnight. It was Squid; he was facing me as he lay in his cot. I must not have been as quiet as I thought I was.

"I had to pee," I whispered back as the lie quickly came to me.

He looked skeptically at me. I worried that he didn't believe my lie.

Slowly, I lowered myself into bed and pulled the sheet over me, not wanting to wake anyone else up.

I looked over to find him still staring at me, as his cot was just three feet away from mine and he was obviously awake now.

"What?" I asked, still whispering.

He looked like he wanted to say something, his mouth opened and he almost did, I think, but then he shut it. He seemed to be having a mental argument with himself. "Nothing," he finally said. "Try to be quieter next time."

I scowled at him as he turned to face the other way. "Ass," I muttered under my breath.

Why did he always have to be so rude about everything? I'm not sure if I'd ever understand what the hell is going on in that thick skull of his.

"Would you stop calling me that?" He hissed, turning back over to glare at me.

"Then stop acting like one," I hissed back, annoyed.

"You're not acting any better," he replied.

"Yeah, well, it pisses me off every time you speak," I shot back.

"Fine, then I just won't even bother you anymore," he stated.

"Good! You can start now by shutting the fuck up." With those last words I turned to face the wall, knowing I should already have been asleep by this time. It was after midnight and I had four hours or less to get some rest.

Tomorrow was really going to suck.

*

Soon enough, my first week at Camp Green Lake was over. I even had a daily pattern now. Every morning we got up at 4:30, had breakfast, and headed out to dig. Around 7:30 the water truck would come around to fill our canteens, again at 10:30 with our lunches, and lastly at 1:30. Most of us were finished not long after the third round. After finishing my hole I would shower and hang out in the Wreck Room, always keeping an eye open for suitable choices to do business with. At 6:00 we were served dinner and sent back to our tents where we would spend the rest of our evening. The boys would usually play card games and such, while I wrote in my journal. As far as I knew, no one had touched it; else they'd fear the wrath of me and probably X-Ray, too. At 9:00 the lights went out and we all went to bed.

It was a simple routine, an easy one to get accustomed to.

I was getting better at digging, too.

Zero was still the fastest digger. Armpit was the second fastest, and then came Squid, Magnet, Zigzag, and X-Ray. But, I was getting to be just a little bit faster than X-Ray. Caveman was still the slowest digger and usually came back to camp alone now.

Squid hadn't spoken to me since that night when I had returned from the Warden's cabin and I wasn't complaining. Life wasn't so bad when he wasn't bothering me.

*

"Hey, Shade, why don't you join us?" I looked up from writing in my journal to find X-Ray waving me over as they were about to start a new game.

I looked at them warily, "What are you playing?"

"Truth or Dare," Armpit answered.

I considered it. I bet they've just been dying to play this game since I arrived.

What fun is Truth or Dare without both of the sexes present?

I finally nodded, "Okay, I'll play." I put away my journal and quickly went over to sit beside X-Ray as Magnet pulled out an empty bottle.

"Now, don't get any ideas just because Shade is here. So, no funny business," X spoke warningly as he glanced at each of the boys in turn.

A few of them groaned with disappointment. "Man, you're no fun," Magnet muttered.

"Yeah, well, it's my body and all I have to say is that there will be no touching or kissing or anything else involving _any_ body parts below the neck."

"So, normal kissing in still allowed?" Magnet asked, perking up.

I nodded slowly, "I don't see any harm in it."

"Sweet," Armpit said, giving Magnet a low high-five as they were sitting next to each other.

I wondered if I should reconsider my rule, but decided they were harmless. I didn't have any problems with a simple kiss as long as they all understand that that's all it will ever be.

We were all sitting in a circle on the floor. X-Ray was on my left, Caveman was on the other side of him. Magnet was on my right, next to Armpit, who sat beside Zigzag. Squid was between Caveman and Zigzag, looking quite disdainful. He sat with his legs in Indian style while he leaned back on his hands behind him. It was a good pose for him, especially since he was shirtless.

Man, all this digging is _definitely_ doing him a favor; his arms were very nicely toned and his abs…. Just _look_ at those abs. They were amazingly well-carved even though he was still rather skinny looking. But not gangly skinny; he wasn't tall enough to be gangly. His shoulders weren't broad either, not like Zigzag's. But I wasn't really worried about Zigzag. There was no interest for me in the crazy-haired kid.

I quickly shook my head at myself. What in the hell am I thinking? Like I'd have any more interest in Squid than I would Zigzag? Hell, I'd rather be interested in Zigzag. At least he seems like less of an ass.

"Okay, so whose starting?" I asked.

"I am," X-Ray answered confidently.

I should have known. X-Ray _is_ the leader; it's only natural that he'd start the game.

Thankfully no one noticed my gazing longingly at Squid's body. Okay, I was _not_ gazing _longingly_. I was just gazing, just making an observation. He has great abs. That's it. I am not interested in him because he has great abs. I am not interested in him at all.

X-Ray spun the bottle and everybody stopped their conversations to watch it intently.

After a minute, it finally stopped, pointing at Magnet.

I watched as X-Ray nodded at him. I assumed he was taking in his tent mate and mentally going over everything he knew about him so that he could come up with a good truth and a good dare. I mean, that's what I usually did when I played this game.

"Okay, Magnet, truth or dare?"

Magnet thought about his answer for a moment, before finally answering with, "Truth."

X-Ray grinned, probably already knowing Magnet would pick truth. "Do you have any strong _feelings_ for Shade?"

I almost gasped at X-Ray's question. Did he think Magnet had feelings for me? He had only mentioned that he thought Squid had feelings for me.

Magnet appeared slightly confused. "Well, I care about her and I worry about her…" he started.

He didn't understand the meaning of X-Ray's question, probably because he didn't have any _strong_ feelings for me. But I was a girl, I _knew_ that. But did these boys know that? They must not, or else X-Ray would not have asked.

"But do you _like_ her?" X-Ray questioned, making sure to put extra emphasis on 'like.'

Magnet's mouth formed into an O, finally understanding, and then his whole expression turned into one of shock. "No!" He quickly responded after catching on. "I just see her as a friend. That's all she is to me."

X-Ray nodded, "Okay, you don't have to get all defensive on me, I believe you."

I wondered if he was only saying that, or if he really did believe him.

The game seemed to continue this way with the boys telling truths and daring each other to do stupid things. I had yet to be the victim of the bottle's random selection but I wasn't too bothered by it. It was interesting to watch these guys interact with each other as they sat around on the floor in a circle. It was also very intense, considering how much I still didn't know about these guys and how comfortable they were in their own flesh and in each other's presence. They were a close-knit group, I could tell. They really were a family, in my eyes, a very strange family. They did not choose each other, they didn't even know each other before they came here, but during what is probably the worst time of their lives, they have all come together in order to make the best of things.

Except for Zero, he was laying on his bed, quiet as usual. I couldn't really tell if he was asleep or not, he wasn't facing us, but he wasn't moving either.

"Alright, Zigzag, it's your turn to spin," X-Ray's jolly voice broke through my reverie and I slowly turned back to the circle of boys in front of me.

I watched silently as Zigzag spun the bottle and several moments later, it stopped; pointing straight at me.

"_Finally,_" Armpit muttered to Magnet. "I thought it would never land on her."

I had yet to say anything ever since we started playing this game and I waited in silence for Zigzag to ask the question. It seemed to take him a moment to realize he was going to be the first of them to ask me a question I have to answer truthfully or to dare me to do some random or lame task.

He looked a little nervous as he finally asked the first question, "Truth or dare?"

I considered my options. If I said Truth, there was a never-ending abundance of questions he could ask me, and if I said Dare, I'd probably have to do something stupid, like flirt with Mr. Sir or maybe even Lump. (I had yet to properly meet Lump, all I knew about him was that he was a suck-up to Mr. Sir and was rarely found off of his chair in the Wreck Room when he wasn't digging, but Magnet had warned me early on to stay clear of him.)

Finally, I gave my answer, "Truth."

Zigzag smirked and Armpit lightly punched him in the arm.

"Are you a virgin?" Zigzag asked immediately.

I scoffed. Is _that_ all they wanted to know? They could have asked me anything and all they were worried about was the question of my _virginity_.

"Of course not," I answered quickly, smirking.

Zigzag looked surprised, but then so did Magnet and Armpit. Did they really believe a _virgin_ could get into this camp? I doubted it was possible and if it was, I'd feel really sorry for the poor girl.

X-Ray looked as if he had known the answer all along, although I had never mentioned anything sex-related to him.

Caveman seemed to be embarrassed that these boys he shared a tent with would ask a girl that question at all, and I smiled at him for it. At least one of these boys was a gentleman.

Finally, I took the chance to look at Squid. He wasn't looking at me; he was probably avoiding eye contact. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately, ever since our little correspondence after my second trip to the Warden's cabin. He didn't seem to be surprised by my answer but then again, why would he care? For all I knew, he wasn't even paying attention to the game.

It was time to continue, though, and I quickly grabbed the bottle and spun it.

It landed on Squid.

Oh, _shit_.

I quickly covered my shock before it could show on my face, keeping my expression serious as I looked back at him.

He was looking straight at me now, no longer avoiding my gaze.

"Truth or dare?" I asked; worried that my tone would leak a little bit of the panic I was feeling.

What the hell would I ask him? What the hell would I dare him to do?

I had no idea.

I tried wracking my brain for what I should do.

"Truth," he said after a few seconds.

I nodded, trying hard to think of something to ask him. What do you ask the guy who hates your guts in a game of Truth or Dare? I'd never had this problem before. Usually, guys didn't hate me because I was always good with guys, whether I was doing business with them or not.

Oh, _fuck it_.

"Alright… so, are you rude to every girl you meet or is it just me?" My anger at him had overridden any sense I had. Besides, a part of me was just dying to know the answer.

"It's just you," he said calmly, not bothering to look interested. "Back home I had several friends who were girls, and, honestly, _none_ of them were as bitchy or irritable as _you_."

_Asshole!_

Okay, if he had just left it with, 'it's just you,' I would have been completely okay with that. But _no, _he had to go and compare me to the girls he _used_ to know.

What a jerk.

It is official, I absolutely _hate_ this kid.

I was about to get up and leave, to quit this stupid game but X-Ray quickly pulled me back to the floor. "Forget him," he said. "He's not worth it."

I was seriously grateful for X. He knew how to calm me down and keep me focused. I didn't know how, but he understood me better than any of the others ever would. I nodded, curtly, giving in and he let go of my arm.

"Your spin, Squid," he then stated, wanting the game to keep going.

Squid rolled the bottle and it landed on Caveman.

I saw him grin at the poor kid, "Caveman, truth or dare?"

I wasn't even sure if I wanted to know what he was going to have this kid do or say.

"Um, truth," Caveman answered hesitantly, he looked a little uneasy with the way Squid was grinning at him and I couldn't blame him for it.

Of course, I knew he would pick Truth; he was probably too scared right now to even consider picking Dare with that evil grin on the asshole's face.

"Okay," Squid started, conversationally. "So tell me, do you think Shade, here, is as bitchy as I do?"

_What?_ Was this a game to him? Well, yes, it was a game, but he was just making a real joke out of it now!

Caveman looked at me, as if he didn't know what to do. I just nodded at him, encouraging him to answer the question truthfully.

It seemed to give him a sense of courage, surprisingly enough, because as he turned back to Squid he straightened up, no longer slouching, and a defiant look had come into his eyes. "No. I don't know what it is about you that sets her off, but I think Shade is a wonderful girl; she's smart, funny, independent, and probably the prettiest girl I've ever seen."

I could have blushed, if that were actually possible. Instead, I just grinned at the curly haired boy quite proudly, and then smirked at Squid just before he stood up and quickly exited the tent.

"Oh, come on, Squid, don't be like that," X-Ray tried to call him back. "It's just a game, man!"

But we weren't going to quit playing just because one of our tent members left.

It was Caveman's turn to spin the bottle and this time it landed on Magnet.

Boy, the bottle liked him; it had probably landed on him more times than anyone else in the room.

"Truth or dare, Magnet?" Caveman asked.

"Truth," Magnet answered, not at all phased by Squid's departure.

"You were the first one to really accept Shade's arrival here, why?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. Why did Caveman pick _this_ question? Of course, I had never really thought of it myself. Yes, I thought it was weird how he was so comfortable sitting next to me after being separated from the opposite sex for months, but within a few minutes I had completely forgotten my concerns and accepted him in return.

Magnet seemed surprised as well, "I don't know, man, I just… I've always been used to being around girls. I had close friends that were girls. They're always good company to me. I don't know, I was just pretty excited when we got a girl. It's just not something I'd ever have a problem with. Yeah, I think it's kind of dumb they sent you here, Shade, because anything could happen to you, but I think that's all the more reason to be your friend so that I can make sure no one will try anything funny."

I nodded, it seemed like a perfectly good explanation to me and the other guys seemed to think so, too, because they quickly agreed as Caveman handed Magnet the bottle.

It was his turn to spin again.

Watching it closely as it began to slow, I waited until it finally stopped, pointing right at me.

Damn.

Magnet looked excited, "Okay, Shade, truth or dare."

I considered my options slowly, but having noticed that most of these boys never picked dare, for reasons I didn't know, I decided to shake it up a bit.

I mean, it was Magnet and he's, like, my best friend here at Camp Green Lake, followed by X-Ray, of course. I trusted him.

"Okay, I pick dare."

Suddenly, a very _mischievous_ grin crossed his face.

Now, _that_ worried me. I wondered what on earth I had gotten myself into as I saw him nod towards Armpit.

And, wait a minute, what was the deal with Armpit? He had high-fived Magnet shortly after I agreed that kissing was okay, he had punched Zigzag lightly on the arm when I had picked truth earlier, and now here he was in cohorts with Magnet _again_. What did these boys have up their sleeves that I didn't know about? Did they plan the truth questions and dares beforehand without my knowing?

That scary grin was still plastered across my friend's mouth as he finally spoke, "I dare you… to kiss Squid, on the lips, for at least five seconds."

_What!?_

"You're kidding…" I said, too shocked to actually show any emotion.

And I had _trusted _him! I totally take back that whole bit about him being my best friend. Screw him. X-Ray was my new best friend. Now, who would take X-Ray's place? Armpit was out, that was for damn sure! Zig was too crazy for me, not to mention he was totally in cohorts with Squid. I know! Caveman can be my second best friend! At least I know _he'd_ be there for me if I needed him.

"Nope," Magnet grinned, shaking his head.

I glared angrily, "We're no longer friends."

"Oh come on, Shade, it's just a game. Besides, you'll still love me tomorrow and you know it."

_Pfft, _as if!

"You better watch yourself, _amigo_. Remember, I know where you sleep," I threatened.

Of course, I'd never actually do anything to him. I wasn't like that. I could take a joke. They thought it was funny to make me kiss _him_, because everybody knows how much we don't like each other. I may not like what I have to do, but I have never been one to back down from a challenge.

Still glaring at them all, I quickly stood up and walked toward the exit. Going outside, I immediately spotted my target. He was sitting on the second step up from the ground, just looking up at the star-filled sky.

How the hell am I going to pull _this_ off?

I took a deep breath and then made my way off the platform and down the steps, carefully sitting next to him. "You know, I didn't pin you for a stargazer type of guy," I spoke casually, trying not to upset him too quickly.

"Yeah, well, there's a lot you don't know about me," he replied. He didn't look at me, but it was probably for the best right now, in case I couldn't keep a straight face. What was especially useful was that he didn't sound angry or annoyed. Right now, it was as if the scene from earlier hadn't happened. But I knew it wouldn't last long.

I would have to do this _very_ carefully.

"Oh really? But you seem to know everything about me; I'm bitchy and irritable and nothing like those girls you used to know." I didn't keep the annoyance I felt toward him out of my voice, but I did try to cover it with simple uncaring nonchalance.

I felt like I was putting on a show as I looked back at the tent to find the boys watching from the entrance. Thankfully, they were staying quiet and not laughing or speaking to each other or else Squid would surely hear them. The only problem with this show was that I was simply improvising and he had no idea this was a show at all. For all I knew, he figured the game was over and I had just come out here to hassle him.

"I never said I know everything about you," he stated defensively, turning his head to look at me just as my gaze had returned to him. If I looked back at the boys again, I knew I would surely be caught.

"No, but you act like that's all there is to me. Like I'm just some bitch without any real thoughts or feelings of my own, like talking to me is just a waste of time because I'd never have anything interesting to say."

"Yeah, well, you're not much better, Shade. You treat me the same way I treat you," he argued, looking out at the landscape, or maybe just looking at nothing at all. That's all that was out there anyway, I figured as I looked out at the dark sky and ground; nothing.

"Well, how else am I supposed to treat someone who only speaks to me to criticize me or complain about me? You've never said a single nice thing to me since I came here, and yes, I know I don't deserve your respect because I'm new and unimportant, but I don't have to be nice to you either if I don't want to."

He nodded thoughtfully, "I guess that makes sense."

I turn to him suddenly, surprised. Did he really just agree with me? What was I supposed to say to that?

Thankfully, I didn't have to say anything just yet.

"You know, maybe we just got off on a bad start," he finally said.

I scoffed at him and grinned, "_Obviously_."

"I'm just saying, maybe… maybe I misjudged you a little in the beginning. I shouldn't have taken that joke you pulled so seriously."

I paused, confused, "What joke?"

He wouldn't look at me as he said it, "That joke about _female comforting_ and afterward, just the way you said that you wouldn't _give yourself up for free_."

"_That's_ why you walked out on me?" I asked, shocked.

He nodded.

Well, that was interesting…

"Look, I'm sorry, if I offended you. It really was just a joke," I said solemnly. Of course, offering myself to anyone in _D-Tent_ really was just a joke.

He nodded, "I know, it just… it just bothered me, that's all."

His tone wasn't normal… he sounded upset. I looked at him more closely and noticed a slight amount of sadness in his eyes. I knew at that moment that it more than just bothered him.

I also knew that the boys were still watching us and this conversation was getting way too personal for them to hear. I also knew that I still had a dare to complete.

I was going to have to turn this conversation around if I wanted to get this over with now, even though I knew I was going to hate myself for it later. I wish he would have yelled at me earlier instead of agreeing with me, it would have made this so much easier for me if he had just taken it badly, instead of finally realizing that maybe I wasn't so bad…

"Well, it was just a joke," I spoke; forcing my tone to sound annoyed at his obvious weakness. "That's all. There was no reason to take it so seriously."

It worked.

He turned on me, "Oh, come on! Any other girl would know better than to offer herself to a group of complete strangers who haven't seen a girl in months! What if one of us had been put in here for committing a rape? Huh? Then what would you have done?"

"Oh please, if any of you had been convicted of rape they wouldn't have put me with you in the first place! And are you _serious?_ None of you even look like you've _been_ with a girl, let alone _raped_ one!"

He finally stood up, but he wasn't leaving. I stood up, too, waiting for him to respond.

"And you think anyone actually believed _you_ when you said you weren't a virgin!? Like any guy would want to fuck a bitch like you!"

"Really?" I asked, angrily. "Is that what you think?"

"Yeah, that's what I think," he answered quickly, looking like he thought I was stupid for having to ask him to confirm it.

But that was all I needed.

Swiftly, I pulled him to me and tilted my head up to kiss him. Surprisingly, he didn't pull away. He didn't even react until I pressed my lips against his, and he didn't react the way I thought he would.

I thought he would push me away immediately, maybe even throw me to the ground before he stomped back into the tent.

I _didn't_ expect him to kiss me back, to pull me closer to him… but he did. I was shocked I even managed to stay standing, I practically melted against him.

_One._

It was amazing the way he responded to my kiss. The moment our lips touched I felt an electrical shock run down my spine, only making me kiss him more fervently than I intended to.

_Two._

And he kissed me back, his lips moving perfectly with mine. There was passion, lust, and especially anger in the way he forcibly held me to him and in the way I sunk my nails into the back of his neck.

_Three._

I didn't want to stop, and a part of me was a little terrified of that.

_Four._

No one had ever kissed me like this before, like they actually meant it, like they were actually enjoying it. My lungs were running out of air and I didn't even _care_. I almost wish it could go on forever.

_Five._

Suddenly, the boys began to wolf whistle and cheer, reminding me that this was a dare and that I had completed it.

Quickly, I half pulled away, half pushed him away as Magnet came down and patted me on the back. "Damn, Shade, I didn't think you'd actually do it," he commented, grinning as a couple of the other boys gathered around us.

Squid looked at me, confused and betrayed, as Armpit, Zigzag, and Magnet all spoke out at the same time, lost in their own happy world. I didn't hear a single word they said as I stared into those sad, brown eyes, as he realized that everybody had been watching us this whole time and that it had all been an act.

And then, he became angry, angrier than I had ever seen him, and walked off again, this time it was toward the Wreck Room and Mess Hall.

A moment later, after watching him leave, I turned away from the ecstatic boys to go back inside.

"Hey, Shade, where you going?" Magnet asked, I could tell without even looking back at him that he was still grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Don't talk to me," I said, coldly, as I walked back up the stairs.

X-Ray was still standing at the entrance, leaning on a post with his arms folded across his chest. "You okay, Shade?" He asked, solemnly.

I stopped for a moment and stared at him. It was obvious that while the other boys were just _so_ excited that I had followed through with the dare, X had actually paid attention to the conversation before that. He knew what I had done; that I had deliberately hurt Squid to complete a stupid dare just when it seemed like we would actually become friends. And he probably knew how much I didn't want to do it after that as well.

Finally, I knew I would have to say something. "Of course I'm okay, it was just a stupid dare," I spat out, knowing it would come off as cold and heartless.

Cold and heartless was what I used to be. I had never cared about anyone before. Guys didn't like me because I was warm and friendly, they liked me because I was hot and, seemingly, mysterious.

But it was all an act. To be honest, what I really was… is manipulative.

It didn't feel like a very good act anymore, though, as I walked by X-Ray and into the tent where Caveman was sitting on his cot, looking thoughtful, and Zero was still lying on his own cot, although he had turned around to face the entrance sometime after I had gone outside to perform that _stupid_ dare.

Right now, I wished I had just said no.

"I'm sorry they made you do that," Caveman said, looking at me in concerned way.

So, X-Ray wasn't the only one who had been watching closely.

"Don't feel sorry for me," I said, quietly. I reached my cot and took off my jumpsuit, still wearing my black tank top and panties. "I'm not worth it."

And then I got into bed and pulled the covers over me, not bothering to look at him to see his reaction, not even bothering to wait for a response.


	9. Reality Check

**Chapter Nine**

**Reality Check**

_Tap._

_Tap._

_Tap._

_Boom!_

I woke to the sound of something hitting something else… and that something else sounded a lot like wood.

"_Fuck!_" I heard someone curse in a voice no louder than whisper. A very familiar voice…

I opened my eyes only to make out his figure in the darkness, coming in a good while after lights out.

He then stumbled over to his cot, so unfortunately next to mine, and began removing his jumpsuit. A moment later he was left only in a pair of boxers. I knew this because when he ran off he hadn't been wearing a shirt or even boots.

I was thankful that I couldn't actually see him clearly.

I was also thankful that he was okay.

Wait, why do I even care?

Because if he had been bitten by a yellow spotted lizard and died, I would have blamed myself, that's why.

But that was it.

I didn't care about _him._

I was just going to have to keep telling myself this until I believed it.

I watched silently as he got into his cot and covered himself with his sheet. At least he wasn't facing me. I was pretty sure he hadn't even looked at me. I figured he was probably going to go back to ignoring my existence now.

I wasn't too happy about that either.

I don't know why I had to go and care about a guy now. I'd never cared about any of them before.

It's not like he ever cared about me, of course it's not likely he ever will now, after what I did.

Why couldn't I have cared about someone else? Like X-Ray! That boy would have been perfect for me.

But the spark just wasn't there.

He was attractive, yes, but I wasn't attracted to him. He was a great friend, but that's all he will ever be.

I rolled over, facing the back of the tent, knowing I'd have a better chance of getting back to sleep if I wasn't watching him.

*

The next morning, I felt like shit. I stayed clear of Squid and his glares, just like I stayed clear of Magnet and his questions. Occasionally, X-Ray would try to talk to me, but everyone else was keeping their distance.

I took my time digging, concentrating on making my hole perfect so that I didn't have to think about anything else.

Even Caveman had finished his hole before me, and after he spat in his hole, he looked over at me as if he wanted to say something. When I glared at him determinedly, he quickly changed his mind and left to go back to camp.

When he was finally out of sight, I stopped digging and immediately threw my shovel across the dirt in frustration.

My hole was an example of total perfection and I had nothing to focus on anymore.

I screamed, knowing no one could hear me because everyone was back at camp by now. I screamed, again, as loud as I could and began kicking and clawing at the sides of my perfect hole, throwing myself against the walls until my body was sore.

Who cares if I bruise? I sure as hell don't.

Finally, I jumped out of my hole, spat in it, picked up my shovel, and headed back to camp.

I showered shortly after returning. I wasn't even worried about having a bodyguard today, I was the last one back, the last one to take a shower, no one was going to bother me, and if they did… hell, I'd probably welcome it.

I decided to use two extra tokens to see if I could freeze out the pain and frustration with the cold water.

Unfortunately, I couldn't.

I was just going to have to deal with it.

Or I could just not deal with it at all.

It was time to really focus and get down to business. I dressed, dropped my dirty clothes off in my tent and busied myself with a little extra primping so that I would look extra special today, and then I quickly made my way to the Wreck Room.

It was time I started making plans with the three boys I had selected.

*

"Hey," I approached my first and most important target with a warm smile.

He was sitting on one of the couches by himself. His hair was black and spiky, in a messy kind of way, his skin was only lightly tanned, and his light blue eyes were quite obviously bloodshot.

"Hey," he said as he looked me over curiously with a lopsided grin.

Today, I had taken a little extra care to look presentable, well… as presentable as I was going to get, in order to impress him. I had put on a clean, forest green tank top; I thought it would clash with the bright orange jumpsuit I had tied around my waist, but, surprisingly, I think I managed to pull it off. I left my hair down and had let it air-dry before I entered the Wreck Room. My curls were looking quite lovely with the heat. Last, but not least, I had taken out the small amount of make-up I had brought with me for this special occasion. I had applied black mascara to my lashes, followed by a tiny amount of black eyeliner I smudged up, to give my eyes a light, smoky look. And before I declared myself perfect, I added just a dab of clear lip gloss in the middle of my bottom lip, which I smoothed out by rubbing my lips together, to give my lips a simple yet shiny gleam.

In my opinion, I looked pretty good for a juvenile delinquent stuck in a work camp. I had already begun to tan, too. That was definitely a benefactor to my appearance.

"I'm Shade," I said, holding my hand out to him.

"Stoner," he quickly introduced himself to me as he shook my hand lightly. "What can I do for you, Shade?"

"I have a proposition for you actually," I stated in my businesslike tone as I sat down next to him and made myself comfortable.

"Really?" He asked, intrigued. "Do tell."

I smirked at him. I had a feeling I was going to like this guy. He was the perfect type to do this kind of business with.

"Well, from what I understand, you got your nickname for a reason…"

"And what would that be?" He questioned, playing right into my hands.

He was definitely a good choice; carefree without giving anything away.

I chuckled, leaning in closer. "You're high," I whispered. "You're almost always high."

"You lie," he joked, faking shock as he pulled away from me.

"_Please_," I joined in on his game. "You're eyes give it away in an instant."

He covertly looked around to make sure no one was paying us any attention, "Shhh, don't tell anyone."

I couldn't help but grin at this kid, "I won't tell anyone. I was just hoping you might be willing to share."

He looked taken aback, "And you just expect me to give you my pot for nothing?"

"I didn't say that, I said I had a proposition for you," I replied, calmly.

He looked at me with even more curiosity now, "What kind of proposition?"

"You share your pot with me and I'll give you what almost every guy in this room wants the most."

"And what is it that every guy wants most?" He questioned with a hint of suspicion mixed in with the curiosity in his voice.

I motioned for him to lean in closer as it was my turn to look around furtively this time.

When he was close enough that I could safely whisper in his ear, I quickly answered with, "_Sex_." Then I pulled away with a knowing smirk on my face as his eyes widened, then looked thoughtful as he pondered this offer I was making, and soon enough, he nodded.

"I think we just might have a deal, my lovely Shade," he said as he offered his hand to me so that we could seal the deal with a handshake the way that men always do.

I quickly shook it, still smirking, "Perfect."

Afterward, I had to add, "Now this is a complete secret. _No one_ is to know about this."

He nodded again, in a businesslike manner, "I completely understand."

"Good," I said, seriously. "We'll start on Thursday; meet me outside an hour and a half after lights out."

He nodded a third time as I stood up to leave, "Sounds perfect, I'll bring the green."

I grinned now, "You better."

And then the dinner bell rang. It was perfect timing, if I do say so myself.

*

At dinner, X-Ray seemed to be surprised when I joined them with a huge smile on my face. I had sat down, with my tray full of mush, between Armpit and Magnet like always.

"What's got you in such a good mood?" X asked, curiously, not sure what to think of my sudden cheerfulness.

I shrugged and smiled at him, "Nothing. I'm just happy, that's all."

He looked me over suspiciously, probably noticing the make-up I had put on earlier, but he didn't say anything about it. I figured he wouldn't push it after what happened last night, at least not in front of our fellow tent members.

Instead, he let me be and returned to the guys' ongoing conversation. I wasn't interested in joining it, though. I still hadn't spoken to Magnet since I told him off before I went to bed last night, but he wasn't letting that keep him from talking nonstop, jubilant as usual. I knew he would forgive me when I finally made the attempt to patch things up with him.

The ones who weren't talking, besides me, were Squid and Zero, but that didn't really strike me as odd considering the circumstances. Squid was still angry at all of us, but mostly just me, for the dare and Zero… well, Zero never talked anyway. I felt kind of bad for the poor kid; he was always there with the group, but never actually _a part_ of the group.

I still didn't know if he could actually talk or not, I wasn't sure if I ever would.

Squid was the first one to leave the table, and Zigzag quickly followed, still trying to get Squid to tell him what was wrong, or maybe just trying to get him to talk _period_.

As far as I knew, Squid hadn't said a word to anyone since he stormed off last night.

I watched solemnly as he left, and then felt a warm hand touch mine softly. I turned to find X-Ray watching me carefully, "Don't worry, Shade, he'll come around eventually."

I shook my head as I pulled my hand out from under his, "Not for me."

"Just let me talk to him," X-Ray said, as a good leader should.

Finally, I looked at him seriously. I knew he wasn't lying. He knew I hadn't wanted to hurt Squid. He knew how much I had wanted to accept his truce. But I didn't believe anything he could possibly say would change Squid's mind. "Well, good luck," I spoke, not really meaning it. "'Cause you're going to need all the luck you can get if you think you can convince him of anything."

Not being able to stomach the crap they called food now that the melancholy had settled back in, I quickly left the table, taking my tray and dumping it with the others before exiting the Mess Hall.

Of course, once I was outside I didn't know where to go as I saw Squid and Zigzag enter the tent. The Wreck Room was closed after dinner and there really wasn't anywhere else to go besides the Wreck Room and our tents. I could always hang out in a hole, but then I'd probably go back to hitting myself against the dirt again.

Or… I could always go and visit the Warden…

Squid and Zigzag were already inside the tent and everyone else was in the Mess Hall. To be honest, the coast was clear…

Finally, I shrugged; there really was nothing better to do.

So, I hurried on over to the little cabin, passing the tents quickly as I kept an eye on the Mess Hall behind me incase someone else decided to leave dinner early.

Successfully making it to the cabin without getting caught, I immediately knocked on the door without a second thought.

A minute later, she finally opened it.

"Shade! What a pleasant surprise! Come in, come in, before someone sees you," she quickly ushered me in as usual.

"Is something wrong?" She asked after shutting the door, looking as if she was genuinely concerned.

"I just don't have anywhere to go right now, you know, with Squid angry at me and I just skipped out on dinner."

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked, reminding me of the guidance counselor I used to have to talk to back at school.

I shook my head, "No thanks, I'm not really the talking type."

She nodded, appearing to understand.

"Well, I was just about to eat dinner myself; here, let me fix you up a plate since you didn't eat."

"You don't have to do that," I started, feeling guilty for interrupting her meal.

"I insist," she said, ushering me into her little kitchen and making me sit down in one of the two chairs. "A girl can't survive on an empty stomach out here, trust me, I know; the heat will do you in."

I chuckled as she placed a glass of peach tea in front of me and then a plate full of fettuccine alfredo.

"Thanks, Lou, this looks amazing," I spoke appreciatively.

She shook her head, smiling, "It's no problem."

"It definitely beats whatever they're always serving us in the Mess Hall," I said, digging in.

"So, tell me," Lou started after a minute of silence. "Why is Squid so angry with you?"

I shrugged, not really knowing how to answer her question properly. "He's never really liked me to begin with, to be honest."

"But now it's worse?" She egged me on as we continued eating.

It was amazing, I swear. I had never tasted better pasta in my life, and I'm Italian! Of course, _anything_ would taste amazing after a week of eating either expired meat wrapped in stale bread or the mystery meat and vegetables this place called _dinner_.

"Yeah, at first it seemed to fluctuate between silence and loud arguments, but after last night, I think I lost my chance at ever getting him to accept me."

"What happened?"

I wondered if I should be telling her any of this information. I mean, she _was_ the Warden. But she'd been so nice to me, so understanding…

"We were playing Truth or Dare and I was dared to kiss Squid…. But Squid was outside at the time so he didn't know about this. So, I went outside, not really sure how to go about this whole trying-to-kiss-your-enemy thing, and, well… we talked for a bit and for a moment it got a little personal and he was even willing to call a truce, I think… and then I had to ruin the nice conversation we were having and finally kiss him…" I paused, not sure how to go on. "Let's just say, once I had managed to kiss him, the guys started yelling and cheering and Squid found out it was all a dare and now he hates me."

I looked up at my friend to find her expression to be one of shock, "Wow, it sounds like you've got yourself a serious problem there."

I nodded, "I know."

"So, do you think you've ruined your chances at ever calling a truce?" She asked, expectantly.

I shook my head, unsure, as I picked up my glass to take a sip of the tea, "Probably. There is no way he'd ever forgive me after that."

"You never know," she spoke optimistically. "He might forgive you eventually."

I scoffed, "Yeah, the day he leaves."

She considered it as she chewed and then swallowed, "It's a possibility, but at least he'll have forgiven you."

"Right, a lot of good that'll do me when he's gone," I laughed, a little hysterically.

*

An hour later, after finishing the fettuccine and talking about other things, Lou finally decided it was time for me to go back to the tent.

"Well, all the boys are probably back in their tents by now, it should be safe for you to head back."

I nodded, knowing she was probably right as I looked out the window and saw that it was already starting to get dark.

"Okay, thanks for dinner, Lou, it was amazing."

She smiled, "It was my pleasure." Then she paused, seeming to remember something, "Oh, and I almost forgot."

I watched her as she hurried over to her desk, opened a drawer, and pulled out a small black cardboard box. She held it out me as she walked back to where I stood at the door. "Here, they came in yesterday."

Slowly, I took them, already knowing what they were before I even really examined the box. "Wow, you got me Trojans?" I asked, surprised she hadn't gotten me a cheaper brand.

"They are the best," she said, probably knowing this herself.

I grinned up at her, "Thanks!"

I quickly shoved them in one of the pants pockets; thankfully they were big enough so that you couldn't tell there was really a box in them.

Thanking her again, I quickly left the cabin, after first making sure the coast was clear, and made my way back to the tents.

*

Quietly walking up the steps to D-Tent, I stopped at the entrance when I overheard what sounded like a heated argument going on inside.

"Do you think you could stop being an ignorant ass for just one second and hear me out!?" I heard X-Ray say, loudly.

"I've heard enough," Squid answered in a quieter voice.

"You haven't heard anything!" X-Ray yelled.

"And why should I?" Squid asked, beginning to sound angry. "It was a dare, I get it. Shade didn't want to call a truce with me; she just wanted to complete the stupid dare."

"It wasn't like that!" X-Ray cut in quickly.

Peeking inside, I saw Squid turn on him, hovering over X-Ray with that mad glint in his eyes I knew so well. "Then what was it like? Huh?"

All of the other guys were gathered around; Armpit, Magnet, and Caveman behind X-Ray, and Zigzag stood a few feet behind Squid. They were quiet yet intensely curious.

I don't know why X-Ray was even bothering with him; anyone could tell that he wasn't going to listen.

X-Ray wouldn't back down, though. He was the leader, and he would stand up for what he believed in. He looked Squid straight in the eye, not letting the fact that he had to look up at his tent mate bother him. "Shade wanted the truce, she didn't want to have to ruin things with you, but she had to complete the dare!"

"No, she didn't!" Squid yelled and pushed X-Ray backward. "She could have said no!" He was frustrated and irrational. This couldn't be good.

But X didn't pause for even a second. Before I knew it, he had shoved Squid right back. "Oh, come on, if you were the one who was dared to kiss her, you would have done the same thing and you know it! You don't just back down from a dare! No one does!"

And then Squid punched him, square in the jaw.

X-Ray faltered for a moment, checking his jaw and moving it in every direction to make sure it wasn't broken. "You're gonna regret that," he spoke dangerously.

X-Ray then charged at Squid, ready for a full on fight… and the others looked too excited in the midst of all the tension in the room to even try and stop them.

"Stop it!" I yelled immediately just as X-Ray was about to pound his friend's face in. "Stop! This is ridiculous! X, I told you this wouldn't work so why won't you just let it be!?"

X-Ray quickly backed away from Squid, surprised by my sudden return. "I'm sorry, Shade," X-Ray spoke, suddenly ashamed of himself as he realized the error of his ways.

"Shade, where the hell have you been?" Magnet asked, stepping toward me, looking worried.

"I went for a walk; I just needed some time to myself," I explained, having come up with a believable story on my way over from the cabin.

Magnet nodded, accepting my answer without any other questions.

"Oh, so that's how it is? You'll all just stop for her, right? Whatever she says goes?" Squid suddenly stated, sounding pissed that he wouldn't be able to get rid of his tension in a good fight with his tent leader.

"No, Squid, that's not how it is," X-Ray swiftly rejected his presumption. "We got carried away. If it wasn't for Shade, we could have gotten into a lot of trouble."

"Bullshit," Squid said, shaking his head at us as if he thought we were all idiots. "You just don't want to upset your little favorite."

"She's not my favorite, Squid," X-Ray rebuffed him again, but still keeping his cool.

"Of course she is! You put her before me the moment she got here even though you and I have been here together for _months_! Why else would you put her in front of me in the water line? Why else would you take her side and not mine?" He sat down on his bed with this crazy grin on his face, but his eyes were sharp and clear. "You know, this is just like home now. My mother put the bottle before me after my dad walked out on us, and after a couple years of that she put her new jerk of a husband before me! And now you're doing the same thing… putting something that's been here all along in the back of your mind to make room for the new and shiny object in your life!"

X-Ray stayed silent.

How do you respond to something like that?

I stared at this sad brown-eyed boy in shock as he continued to rant.

"And now that I think about it, I really don't get this whole justice system… our parents _made_ us the criminals we are! They are the ones that drove us to drink, do drugs, steal, and hurt other people! Yet… _we're_ the ones being sent to this hell hole in order to _build_ _character!_ What kind of sick system is that!? Where's the justice in this sick society!?"

I stared at him in awe, knowing more about him now than I ever thought I would.

My heart reached out to him but I couldn't move. I couldn't even speak. What he said had terrified me beyond all belief. I just stood there, lost in awe and pity…

Finally, Squid shook his head, "Just forget it. She's your favorite. It's nothing new to me to be forgotten…"

I felt horrible. It was time for some serious damage control…

"Squid," I said, cautiously walking closer in case he decided to attack me next. "You haven't been forgotten here…"

He looked up at me, shocked, but he quickly hid his emotions under a facial expression of disbelief. "You're just saying that so you don't have to feel guilty…"

Then why do I still feel guilty?

"And you're just saying that because you think you're the only one here who's wallowing in your own self-pity. Well, here's a reality check for you; you're not the only one with parents who put other things before you. You're not the only one who wants to be noticed, who wants to be cared about, and you're definitely not the only one you wants to be put first for just once…"

"And what would you know about that?" He asked, coldly. "You're always being put first."

"Shows what you know," I said and walked over to my cot.

What was the point in trying to convince him I was right? He was angry, temperamental, and probably too far gone to be set right. He would never believe anything I had to say. He hated me. He blamed me for his problems here. There was no convincing someone like that. Not until they have calmed down anyway. Convincing Squid would take time, and a lot of it.

Tired and frustrated, I went to bed. The other boys followed suit and the lights went out.

Tomorrow, I would just have to do whatever I could to make him start believing that I wasn't here to be in the spotlight. I wasn't here to be put first. I was here to complete my sentence in the easiest and quickest way possible.

*

Oh, the _drama_ of it all! Please remember to review and tell me what you think!

InAnotherLife11


	10. Better Than You

**Chapter Ten**

**Better Than You**

Jesus Christ, I hate that alarm.

Outside I could hear Dr. Pendanski doing his morning rounds, yelling, "Rise and shine, people! Rise and shine!"

What a nut job.

Nothing could ever shine in _this_ place, not for long anyway. It would be covered in dirt within an hour.

Reluctantly, I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was Squid, as he stood before me, pulling on his jumpsuit and tying it around his waist. Next, he grabbed his usual yellow t-shirt and pulled that on, too, over his head and then those miraculous abs I had been admiring just the other night.

It feels like it's been a lot longer than just a day or so since then.

I then watched him grab his standard white t-shirt and pocket it for later while he stuck his orange hat on his head. Suddenly, he paused. I looked up at his face to find him staring back at me.

"What are _you_ looking at?" He asked, coldly.

Opps, looks like I've been caught staring.

"Absolutely nothing," I said slowly, making sure to enunciate every syllable.

Then I finally got out of bed and began to pull my own clothes on as well. I didn't look at him again, but I was pretty sure my words had struck a nerve.

I chose to stay quiet for the rest of the morning as we got our breakfast and shovels then made our way out onto the 'lake.'

Of course, I didn't mind the silence so much anymore. I didn't even mind the digging; I even savored the mindless daily task.

Finally, the water truck had arrived.

Mr. Sir has parked just a couple yards away from X-Ray's hole and I waited as the boys all started walking toward him.

I lingered behind, letting the line form.

X-Ray, Armpit, Squid, Zigzag, Magnet, Caveman, Zero. There was a space between Armpit and Squid left open for me, as usual, but I didn't take it. Instead, I made my way to the back of the line and stood behind Zero.

Zero noticed this first; having felt someone close behind him, he turned around to give me a strange look.

I just looked him straight in the eye and nodded curtly. He soon turned back around to face the front, staying quiet as was customary for him.

Magnet was the next to notice, probably having checked the line in front of him to find that I was missing. He looked around, confused, and then behind him, "Shade?" Of course, I knew I could count on him to speak up. "What are you doing back there?"

Suddenly, everyone's eyes were on me.

"This is my spot," I answered quietly.

"No, it's not. X-Ray moved you up to third in line, remember?" It was Caveman who spoke up this time, speaking to me as if I was suffering from amnesia.

"This is my spot," I repeated with a little more force this time.

Next in line to speak was Armpit, who had stepped out of the line to get a good look at me. "Shade, what's wrong with you? You're spot is up here," he gestured towards the space he had just removed himself from.

"THIS IS MY SPOT!" I screamed, knowing it was the only way to get them to back off.

I breathed deeply afterward, waiting to see if anyone would try and tell me this wasn't my spot again.

"Guys, just leave her alone," X-Ray quickly interfered. Looking him over, he appeared to be slightly stricken by my performance, but he was calm. He would not defy the choice I had made. "If she wants to go back to the end of the line then let her." And he turned back to Mr. Sir and took his filled canteen back to his hole.

A moment later, Armpit returned to his place in line and handed his canteen to Mr. Sir. Everyone else had also faced front again, shaking their heads in confusion. That is, everyone except Squid. He kept his questioning eyes on me for just a little bit longer, as if he was trying to figure out what game I was playing at this time. I stared back at him, intensely, and then he finally turned around, too, as Mr. Sir took his canteen.

I smirked, knowing no one could see it. My plan was working.

Now, all I had to do was wait for him to come to me.

*

It wasn't until after the water truck had come around again for another round of filling the canteens and handing out lunches that Squid finally approached me.

I had stood behind Zero again, just like I did earlier this morning. Except this time no one tried to tell me I was in the wrong spot.

Right now, I was sitting on the edge of my hole, eating my stale sandwich, when he approached.

"So, what are you playing at now?" He asked, shading his eyes as he glared down at me from where he stood.

"Sorry?" I played the innocently stupid card.

"That stunt you pulled earlier; why'd you do it?" He asked, squatting next to me.

Pretending to understand now, I gave him the speech I had been working on all morning, "Well, I've been thinking about what you said to me about not deserving any respect from you or any of the others, and recently I've come to the conclusion that you were right. I don't deserve any respect from you, or X-Ray, and I don't deserve the third place in line or even a bodyguard to keep me safe when I shower. I'm just another delinquent, like you, serving time, and I should be treated just like any other newcomer. I have to work my way up the ladder just like everybody else. I shouldn't be taking hand outs from anyone. I may be a girl, but that doesn't make me better than you. I'm _not_ better than you and I don't want to be treated like I am.

He stayed still and, surprisingly, quiet during my entire speech and I was shocked that he hadn't interrupted me. I took it as a good sign.

He stared at me for a couple seconds and then finally nodded, but there was a grin on his face and it looked a lot like one of those 'you-pitch-a-good-argument-but-don't-believe-you' kind of grins…

"Okay… so you think I'm better than you, huh?" He asked.

That wasn't exactly what I said, but I nodded 'yes' anyway. I was beginning to get the sense that idiot-boy might have a plan of his own in the making…

"Well, if I'm so much better than you, then why don't you give me the rest of your lunch?"

I stopped right in the middle of taking a bite out of my apple when he said that.

So, _that_ was how it was going to be?

He was going to use my confession to take my food? In a place where food and water were, hands down, the most important necessities? How low could one person _get_?

Quickly, I finished that bite and chewed, slowly. After swallowing it, I handed the apple to him, with the one bite missing, and he gladly took it. Then he motioned for my gram crackers and the other half of my sandwich and I shoved the paper bag into his chest, causing him to lose his balance and fall over.

I knew he probably wasn't happy about me pushing him, but he got up quickly. "Thanks," he said, almost sounding as if he actually meant it, but I knew better.

I watched him as he walked back over to his hole, finishing off the rest of my sandwich on the way.

I then looked over at X-Ray to catch him shaking his head at me, as if he thought I was making a huge mistake.

I just ignored him though, picking up my shovel and returning to dig my hole as the rest of them lounged around while they finished their own lunches.

If this was the game Squid wanted to play, then I'll play it… even if it means starvation.

*

When I finally finished my hole that day, I was hot, I was sweaty, I was tired, and overall, I was damn hungry. I could not wait until it was time for dinner.

But, even though I felt like complete shit, I was quite pleased with myself as well.

Thanks to the extra time I got to dig while the boys finished their lunches, Squid taking the longest, I managed to get a foot or so ahead of them.

Today, I was done not too long after Armpit, but what was even better was that I managed to beat Squid, Zigzag, and Magnet.

Surprisingly, it was _quite_ a pick-me-up.

I quickly headed back to camp, showered, and dressed before the others had even returned.

I knew I should be preparing myself for my next target, but I just wasn't up to it right now. My mind was too busy worrying about Squid and I was just too hungry to play nice.

Instead of going to the Wreck Room as usual, I took out my iPod and plugged the earpieces into my ears. Finally finding something decent to listen to, I turned up the volume, laid back on my cot, and closed my eyes.

It wasn't long before I fell asleep.

*

What felt like hours later, I was woken up, abruptly, as I felt my earpieces being ripped out of my ears…

I opened my eyes to find Squid, half-dressed and freshly showered, with my iPod in his hands. "I'll be confiscating this," he spoke cheerfully, as he rolled up the earpieces around it.

"I don't think so! Who the hell do you think you are?" I yelled, angrily, while standing up. I did _not_ appreciate being woken up so rudely while having the most expensive possession I brought with me taken away.

He turned around slowly to face me after having turned off my iPod and put it away in his cubbyhole. "I think I'm the one who's better than you, that's who," he spoke boldly, crossing his arms across his bare chest as he looked down at me, just waiting for me to try and do something about it.

Oh right, the game.

"Oh right," I said, more cheerfully this time. "Sorry. My bad. You enjoy that then, I'll just have to steal myself another one when I get back to Phoenix. No big deal."

Of course, I had never stolen anything that cost more than fifty dollars; it was too risky, there was too high of a chance of getting caught. But I wasn't going to tell _him_ that. Better to let a fellow thief believe that I could easily steal such things.

Quickly, I left the tent to escape to the Wreck Room, just as Zigzag and Magnet were returning from the showers.

"What's wrong with her?" I could hear Zigzag ask as I walked out, but I didn't bother to stop and listen to Squid's response. For all I knew, he'd probably shrug his shoulders and act as if nothing had happened.

I just kept on going toward the cluster of buildings and made my way into the Wreck Room.

Now what?

X-Ray wasn't back yet, and neither was Caveman. Magnet was still in the tent and I wasn't really talking to him yet anyhow…

That basically left Armpit.

Where was Armpit anyway?

Looking around, I soon found him at one of the pool tables. Surprisingly enough, he was playing my second target. I watched from several feet away as my target landed the last two balls into the holes and, with a cheeky grin, held out his hand to Armpit, "Time to pay up, my friend."

Armpit sighed dramatically as he reluctantly handed over a handful of shower tokens.

That was the main reason why I picked this guy. He could win at almost anything; pool, poker, you name it.

Not to mention, he played for tokens.

Shower tokens.

If there's one thing I could use, it's some longer showers, even if the water is freezing.

"Hey guys," I spoke out cheerily as I walked closer to the table.

Armpit looked up quickly, surprised to see me, "Oh, hey Shade."

"What are you guys up to?" I asked, curiously.

"Uh, nothing, just, you know, playing some pool," Armpit answered nervously, quickly hiding the tokens behind his back. It was pretty obvious that he wasn't a very good liar.

"Gambling would be the correct answer," the other guy chipped in, laughing.

"Shhh!" Armpit backhanded him in the chest.

I laughed at the two of them, "Don't worry, Armpit, I won't tell."

He nodded, believing me easily, "Cool, the other guys get pretty upset when I gamble away my shower tokens…"

I nodded, knowing _why_ the boys got upset, and then turned my eyes back to other boy, waiting for a proper introduction. I had to admit, he wasn't all that bad looking. He was taller than me, maybe about six foot one or six foot two. He had deep green eyes and the curly, golden blond hair of a surfer boy.

Armpit finally caught on, though, and realized that I hadn't met this boy before. "Shade, this is Gamble. Gamble this is Shade, she's the newest member to D-Tent."

"So, I've heard," Gamble stated quietly. "Nice to meet you, Shade," he held his hand out for me to shake.

A boy with manners! Around here that was like a breath of fresh air; a boy with actual manners was _very_ hard to find in a juvenile detention camp. I mean, sure, Caveman got all embarrassed when people asked people inappropriate questions, but he didn't know a thing about etiquette.

Smirking at him, I shook it graciously, "The pleasure is all mine."

He smirked back at me as we shook our hands slowly and then finally let go, yet we continued to stare at each other.

I then looked over at Armpit to see him rolling his eyes in annoyance and then walking off. Gamble appeared to have seen his reaction as well before he left us alone and chuckled at my tent mate's expense.

"So, how long have you been here now, Shade?"

"Just a little more than a week," I said, leaning on the pool table.

He nodded, "The first week's a tough one."

"Yeah, it really is," I agreed, wholeheartedly. "How long have you been here?"

"I don't know," he grinned, shaking his head. "It's been too long."

I laughed, "I'll bet."

"Nah, I'm just kidding. I've been here for about ten months, but I was only given a year so it won't be long until I'm out of here."

"Lucky," I replied, jealously. "I'm here for a year and a half."

"_Damn_, what you do to get that long of a sentence?" He asked, looking genuinely curious, sitting on the edge of the pool table next to me.

"I beat up a couple girls in my class pretty badly for threatening me…" I trailed off.

"Well, you must have seriously injured them if they had to send you here. I mean, there are quite a few correctional facilities for girls," he stated.

I nodded, "Yeah, the judge thought I was _too_ violent against girls, so he decided I'd be better off here. Of course, you also have to factor in the part where the girls' rich daddies paid off said judge to make sure I was locked away somewhere atrocious."

"What did those girls do to you?" He asked, looking at me cautiously.

"What makes you think they did something to me?" I asked, suspiciously. I hadn't expected him to ask me that.

"Well, from my experience, girls aren't as easy to set off as boys are. It usually builds up to a certain point until they feel it necessary to actually do something about it," he explained, calmly.

I considered what he said, trying to apply it to my situation. Those girls had been picking on me and spreading rumors about me long before their boyfriends got involved… It wasn't until they actually _threatened_ me that I made the decision to fight back.

"So, are you going to answer me or is that classified information?" He asked, leaning down to look into my eyes as I had lowered my face to the table in my thought process.

"It might be," I grinned. "It's a long story."

"I like long stories," he replied quietly, leaning toward me. "Besides, it's not like we don't have all the time in the world here."

"You've only got two months, actually," I corrected him.

He chuckled, "I doubt your story is _that_ long."

I nodded, looking down at my hands. There was something about this kid that made me think I might be able to trust him.

"Well, my parents had sent me to this prep school where all these rich kids went and, to cut a long story short, I wasn't rich. So, these girls were always trying to make me feel unwanted. They were constantly trying to get me to go back to public school, where I _belonged_, but I wouldn't back down."

He looked at me for a moment, "There's something you're not telling me… making you feel unwanted and making you feel threatened are two completely different things, Shade."

I gazed at him, my mind blank. He knew there was more to it than what I was willing to tell him.

"Oh, come on. You've already told me everything else. Why won't you tell me why they threatened you?" He pleaded.

"And how do you know I've told you everything else when you don't even know why they threatened me?" I asked, defensively.

"What? Were you sleeping with their boyfriends?" He guessed randomly.

I stopped breathing for a couple seconds and my eyes widened as I looked up at him.

How did he figure _that_ out?

"No way… I was just kidding…" he started as he saw the look on my face and realized his _joke_ had been the actual truth.

"Yeah, well, not all jokes are funny," I said, reminding me of my conversation with Squid before I ruined it all.

So much for bringing up my business proposition _slyly_…

"So, that's why they threatened you? You were claiming their turf?" He asked, looking around the room for anyone who could overhear or even be listening in.

I was glad he chose to use a metaphor instead of repeating himself just in case anyone overheard us. He was a quick thinker, and someone I could obviously count on to keep things on the down-low.

I shook my head, "Not exactly."

"What do you mean?" He asked, confused.

"To claim their turf would mean I was trying to _steal_ their boyfriends. But I wasn't stealing…"

"Then what were you doing? Just doing it for kicks? So, you could laugh in their faces next time they tried to mess with you?" He was egging me on; he was determined to know everything about this situation.

"No, it wasn't just for kicks either. And I wasn't shoving it in their faces. I had been purposely trying to keep it a secret from them. They weren't supposed to find out," I confessed as I stared down at the floor.

I found it funny that this was the first person I had ever admitted the truth to. Sure, my parents suspected it and those girls had figured out their boyfriends weren't saving themselves for marriage, but I had never said it out loud. I'd never told the guys I was doing business with that I was doing it with anyone else but them. If it was ever spread around that I would have sex for money, it didn't come from me. It came from the guys who couldn't keep their mouths shut and the jealous girls who wished they could do what I did.

Gamble seemed to take in my answers, carefully examining each word until he figured out the meaning, "So, you were doing it for money. You said your parents weren't rich…"

This boy was smart.

I nodded, "Yeah, I was doing it for money… so that I could buy all the fancy clothes and gadgets and pretend I was just another one of those snobby little rich girls…"

"Wow," he sounded surprised. "You didn't strike me as that sort of girl…"

"You mean the type of girl who will do anything to get what she wants?" I asked, contemptuously.

"No, what I meant was… you just don't seem like the type of girl who would want so desperately to fit in," he explained.

I looked up at him suddenly, surprised.

Did he really mean that?

"I mean, don't get me wrong, but you seem so… strong. You know what you want and you'll do anything to get it, but even if you could buy all those things to make you seem rich, you'll never fit in."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, confused. I wasn't sure if I should be offended or flattered.

He shrugged, "To me, it just seems like you spend too much time trying to stand out and stand up for what you believe in…"

I considered this; the boy did have a point.

"Honestly, I don't know why you would want to fit in with people like that anyway. They get everything handed to them on a platter. Take away their last names and their bank accounts and they'll be even worse off than you."

"And why's that?" I asked, honestly curious to hear what he had to say.

"Because you have intelligence, drive, and determination; even with their bank accounts and trust funds, you'll still get farther than they ever will, because all _they_ have is their money and their egotism."

I laughed whole-heartedly now.

"So, how did a genius like you end up in a place like this?" I asked, genuinely wanting to know.

I couldn't help but give the boy some credit. I mean, he _was_ pretty smart.

He grinned, roguishly, "Gambling, of course."

I snorted, "I should have known."

He nodded, "I definitely didn't learn how to gamble _here_." He gestured to the room around us as he said this.

"Then where did you learn it?"

He shrugged, "A friend got me into it… I managed to get into some serious debt until I started realizing all the little tricks the winners were using. Soon enough, I was just as good as them, maybe even better, and then my dad came home from his six-month-long business trip just as I lost it all…"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I was playing with my dad's money and when it was all suddenly gone, he knew it had to have been me. He figured out my gambling problems and sent the police after me one night in the middle of a game, in which I was _trying_ to get it all back. But the cops broke it up and I was the only one arrested."

"And then they sent you here?"

He nodded.

"Do you think you could have actually gotten it all back in that game?" I asked a moment later.

He nodded again, "I was so close. And once I had it I would have called it quits, but…"

"But your dad didn't realize that you were trying to get it back the same way you lost it."

"Yeah," he agreed. "I'm not too excited about seeing him again."

"I can imagine," I commiserated.

Then the dinner bell rang, right on time.

We both looked up suddenly, not bothering to move, as the rest of the occupants were in a hurry to get to dinner.

Finally, he spoke, "So, I guess I'll see you later?" He seemed hesitant as he slid off of the edge of the pool table and stood next to me, like he didn't know where this conversation full of confessions put us.

I nodded, "I guess so."

And then we both made our way over to the Mess Hall, silently following the crowd.

We didn't bother to continue talking as we stood in line and had our trays filled with food. We separated the moment we were out of the line, me going over to D-Tent's table and him heading toward C-Tent.

I saw Stoner over at A-Tent's table and my third target over at E-Tent.

Everyone was looking at me curiously when I sat down at the table in the same spot as usual.

"So what's the deal with Gamble?" X-Ray asked immediately.

I looked up at him, surprised. Was it a problem that I was associating myself with guys from different tents?

I shrugged, "Nothing."

"Then what were you guys whispering about in the Wreck Room?" He continued to interrogate me.

"We were just discussing gambling techniques," I stated nonchalantly.

"Gambling?" Magnet asked, confused. "But you won't even play!"

"Yeah, well, that doesn't mean I've _never_ played. It's just that the only thing I've got to gamble with is shower tokens, and I'd like to keep those."

He nodded, appearing to understand.

A moment later the topic was forgotten as they began to talk about other things.

Finishing my beans and vegetables, I reached for my bread just as someone else took it right from under my hand.

"I'll be taking that," Squid smirked, taking a bite. "Unless you want it?" He added a moment later, his eyes just egging me on to try and take it back.

I eventually shook my head, "No, you keep it. I'm full anyway."

He nodded at me and took another bite. "Yeah, a girl like you has got to watch her weight. Don't want to get fat now, do we?"

I glared at him, but I didn't retort.

Looking at the mystery meat, beans, and vegetables, I knew my mother would be appalled if she could see the crap they were feeding us. And my grandmother would probably tell the Warden off herself for starving her granddaughter. The food at home was always amazingly delicious, and there was always a lot of it. I was lucky my metabolism was so high considering how much I was always eating. Here, I was practically always hungry.

But I wasn't going to fill him in on my metabolism or my life at home.

It wasn't any of his business.

I would continue to let him take everything he wanted from me until he regretted it; until I had him begging me for forgiveness.

I mentally scoffed at myself. What was I thinking? Squid beg _me_ for forgiveness? Like that would ever happen.

I finished off the crappy mystery meat and left the table, not bothering to look back and see if anybody was watching me.

If Squid wanted me to go hungry… well, then I'd go hungry.

I wouldn't stop him.

I quickly made my way back to D-Tent and lay down on my bed. I desperately wanted to write in my journal, like I usually did after dinner, but I was afraid to now that Squid was _better than me_. If I got it out now, he'd probably try to take that, too, just like he took my iPod. And _that_ I would _never_ allow, game or no game. He was not getting his hands on my journal. I would just have to keep it in my backpack until this was over with.

I sighed in frustration as I stared up at the ceiling.

I didn't know what I was doing anymore.

I hadn't meant to tell Gamble my whole life story. I had just wanted to strike the deal with him and be done… and I didn't even _do_ that!

I slapped my forehead angrily.

How was I going to come onto him _now?_

How could I be so stupid to go and tell him _everything?_

Why didn't I just lie to him? I lie to everyone else.

Why did I feel like I could actually trust him? I used to never trust anyone.

Now that I'm _here_ it's like I've become a completely different person; one who cares and trusts and has real friends who actually care about _me_.

Even my own parents wouldn't recognize me right now!

I covered my face with my hands in worry.

This could turn into _such_ a _mess._ I _need_ to get a hold of myself before I do something so irrational it ruins everything!

I uncovered my face as I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and, a moment later, D-Tent walked in.

"You okay, Shade?" Magnet asked, immediately noticing the worried expression on my face before I had a chance to cover it.

I sat up slowly as he came over and sat next to me, putting an arm around my shoulders.

I mentally smiled, knowing all had been forgotten about the other night. Magnet knew I was upset and nothing would stop him from being there for me.

I nodded, taking a deep breath and attempting a smile, "Yeah, I'm fine, Magnet."

"You sure?" He asked, looking at me anxiously.

"Mhm," I nodded again.

"Good," I heard Squid butt in as he came over and sat across from us on his own cot. "'Cause you're not sleeping there tonight."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"You're sleeping on the floor, little girl, so I can put our cots together," He replied.

"Why?" I asked, angrily.

"Because I'd like a bigger bed, that's why," he stated. "I _am_ better than you, right? So shouldn't I get to use your cot if I want to make my bed bigger?"

I nodded, understanding. There was always another demand from the idiot-boy to look forward to.

"Fine," I said, standing up. Magnet stood up, too, and I quickly took the top sheet and the pillow from my bed and put them on the floor. "Take it," I motioned toward the bed and stood on the other side of it now with a hand on my hip as I watched him get up and push it forward until it was right up against his own cot.

"Shade…" Magnet started once Squid had settled on the conjoined cots.

I raised a hand to stop him though, "Magnet stay out of this."

And with those last words and everyone's eyes on me, I spread my sheet out on the floor and placed my pillow at the top. When I was finished, I quickly plopped myself down on the sheet.

Squid's demands were becoming more and more outrageous, but I wouldn't stop giving him everything he asked for until _he_ realized it was outrageous.

And now, because of him, I was so ridiculously bored. I couldn't write in my journal. I couldn't listen to music on my iPod. I didn't want to play cards. I _never_ wanted to play Truth or Dare _ever_ again. Not to mention, I've been isolating myself so badly within my tent that I had no one to talk to.

I laid down on the floor and rolled over so that I was facing the wall. I might as well go to bed early.

Not like I had anything better to do.

I was hungry and my life was falling apart.

Has it really only been a little more than a week since I came here in that rusty old bus? It feels like I've been here ten times longer than that…

*

And there goes another chapter where maybe too much is going on…

So… I might just be as lost as Shade is because the Gamble scene was completely unplanned. I wanted to put in another Stoner scene, I had planned for them to become good friends, but somehow this blond gambling prince captivated my mind and had to have his own chance to be known. So… I'm gonna let you guys vote: Stoner or Gamble? Which one do you like better? Which one do you want to see get closer to Shade? (And if you guys want pictures of what they look like, my mind is blank on possibilities. So, if you have any ideas on who Gamble and Stoner should look like, as long as it's similar to their descriptions, let me know.) But don't worry Squid lovers; I'm just biding time until our two main characters come to their senses. I hope it doesn't get too out of hand though. Anyway, please remember that I LOVE reviews, so please leave one!

P.S. Chapter Eleven isn't even in the making yet, so it might take a week or so to get it up, but considering this is the third chapter I've put up in the last couple of days there's really no reason to hate me for making you wait, right? At least I'm back on track, with only a few occasional speed bumps and detours.

InAnotherLife11


	11. Bury Me Alive

**Beginning announcement: **Well, Majority rules, and the majority voted Gamble! Well, at least everyone (5 of the 6) who responded to the question voted Gamble (or just likes him better). So, I guess he'll be getting closer to Shade. But I still like Stoner… I'm thinking I might make him a sort of philosophical pothead friend… (you know, someone who's there but not in the way) but I don't know yet. And next I need to come up with who the hell Target 3 will be, and part of me thinks I should just pull a 180 and make him Lump, but Shade already knows to stay clear of Lump… and that would completely ruin the great amount of judgment she's supposed to have when picking these guys, so honestly, I need someone a little more subtle. So, I guess I have another unknown to create and it he will NOT take over the way Gamble did. Anyway, thanks to everyone who reviewed!

**Chapter Eleven**

**Bury Me Alive**

_Out on the lake under the burning sun, I found myself in a hole. A finished hole, it looked like, but I had no shovel. There was no way I could have dug this hole without a shovel…_

_Suddenly, I felt someone throw what felt like dirt at my back._

_I turned around to see a dark figure above me just as he used his shovel to throw another shovelful of dirt right in my face._

"_What are you doing?" I asked, quickly wiping away the dirt from my eyes and mouth._

"_What does it look like I'm doing?" He asked._

_It was definitely a he. His voice sounded familiar, too, but for the life of me I couldn't place it._

"_You're filling in the hole?" I questioned, feeling lost and confused._

"_That's right," he responded, another shovelful going in._

"_But why? This isn't your hole," I argued._

"_You're right; it isn't my hole, little girl," he replied, chuckling._

"_Then whose hole is it?" I questioned, trying to shield my eyes from the sun and the dirt, hoping for just a glimpse of this male silhouette. _

"_It's yours," he replied, nonchalantly._

"_Then why are you throwing the dirt back into it?"_

"_Because it's your final hole; you're dead, little girl," he chuckled again._

"_What?" I asked, shocked. "No, I'm not!"_

"_Yes, you are," suddenly his voice was serious and cold._

_I sat down in the dirt, unable to believe this. Before I knew it the dirt was piled up to my neck. I tried to stand up, to jump out of the hole, but I couldn't move. I felt paralyzed._

_I was trapped._

_He was going to bury me alive._

"_Why are you doing this?" I asked my final question._

_He stopped for a second, sticking the shovel in the dirt, "Because I can. Not like anyone is going to stop me. Who would ever miss someone as weak and pathetic as you?"_

_And suddenly, the sun was covered by a large cloud, and I could finally get a proper look at the boy._

_I saw brown eyes and messy brown hair and suddenly I knew…_

"_Squid?"_

"_That's right, baby," and then he finished filling the hole by pushing the last pile in, covering my entire head. _

_I couldn't breathe, unless I wanted to breathe in dirt. I was going to suffocate. He had actually buried me alive and I was going to die here in this hole…_

"Ahhhh!"

"Shade!" I heard someone yell. "Shade! Wake up!"

"I don't want to be dead, I don't want to be dead…" I whimpered, terrified, as I curled into my pillow.

Wait a minute…. Where did I get a pillow?

I suddenly opened my eyes to see X-Ray leaning over me.

And then I realized I wasn't breathing…

"Breathe, Shade, come on, you gotta get up," X continued speaking to me softly.

I took in a deep breath and nodded, letting him pull me up to a standing position.

"You okay, girl?" He asked, worried.

I nodded again, making sure I remembered to keep breathing, "Yeah, it was just, you know, a bad dream…"

I looked up to find all of the boys staring at me, including Squid. His eyes looked curious, but I could see a hint of alarm in them, too. He must have heard my mumbling, considering he was the closest one to me, besides X-Ray.

X-Ray noticed my gaze and suddenly turned around to face the boys, "Well, what are you guys waiting for? The alarm went off two minutes ago! Get dressed and get outside!"

They paused for a second, still unsure.

"I said _go!_" X-Ray yelled, waving them off and then turning back to me. "You, too, Shade," he added, more quietly.

I smiled and nodded, "Thanks."

He just waved it off and headed outside. He was already dressed, and Dr. Pendanski probably would have become a little suspicious if no one from his tent had come out yet for breakfast, and then he would have had to come in here to find out what was taking us so long.

My back was sorer than usual from sleeping on the hard wooden floor but I didn't let that slow me down. Quickly, I pulled on my jumpsuit and boots and hurried outside after the rest of the boys.

I got my shovel first and then headed over to where Dr. Pendanski was handing out tortillas. He handed one to me and I took it and walked away. But before I could even take a bite, it was quickly grabbed out of my hand.

I looked up, shocked to see Squid standing before me as he took a huge bite of my tortilla. After swallowing a moment later, he added a quick, "Thanks," and walked off, leaving me hungry and without breakfast.

I gripped my shovel so hard my knuckles turned white.

He had taken my lunch, my iPod, my bread (which was the only decent thing to eat at dinner), my bed, and now my breakfast…

All because he was convinced that he was better than me and deserved to be able to take everything he wanted away from me.

Well, I have had enough…

He _would_ regret this.

*

After Mr. Sir finally showed me where to dig, I quickly got to work. I was hungry and irritable and refused to speak to anyone, including X-Ray. I couldn't handle their staring and questioning eyes.

Right now, I couldn't care less about anyone else except Squid. He was my only objective and he was seriously asking for it by his continuous acts of selfishness. I needed to make him see that he was out of his league messing with me.

I looked over at him to see him with _my_ headphones in his ears as he listened to _my_ iPod.

I would not give him the satisfaction of winning this game.

*

The sun was hot; too hot… and bright, too; it was practically blinding. I couldn't use my shades because I knew he would take them just like he took my iPod. I couldn't use anything he'd want for himself.

It was almost lunch time and my canteen was completely empty.

I wiped the sweat from my brow with my arm as I looked across the horizon for Mr. Sir's truck. Thankfully, he was on his way over to us now and I could not wait to eat. I was so hungry it was ridiculous. I was surprised I hadn't fainted yet out here on an empty stomach and in this heat.

I felt delirious.

And then I laughed, out loud, at the word.

"D stands for delirious and deranged," I spoke out loud. I had said it myself my first day digging.

"You okay, Shade?" Magnet called out. He was the closest one to me and he must have heard me talking to myself. "You don't look so great."

"But I _am_ great," I argued, grinning. "I'm so great, I've never felt better." I put down my shovel and quickly jumped out of my hole… and then I got dizzy and almost fell back into it.

Magnet quickly scurried out his own hole and rushed to steady me. He grabbed my arm and pulled me upright before I could tumble backwards, "Chica, you are _not_ okay."

"Yes, I am," I argued, pulling away from him as Mr. Sir arrived with the water truck.

I quickly took my spot behind Zero and refused to make eye contact with any of them.

I knew what they were thinking.

Magnet was probably mentally commenting on how impressed he was that I had made it over to the truck without even tripping.

X-Ray was probably shaking his head at me, whether it be physically or mentally; the boy was always watching over me.

And Squid was probably telling himself how much better than me he was.

I growled under my breath at the last thought alone.

Swiftly we each got our canteens filled and took our lunches.

I sat alone beside my hole, more excited than I've ever been to take a bite of stale food when a shadow loomed over me.

"What do you think you're doing?" Squid asked as I shielded my eyes to look up at him. My headphones were still around his neck.

"I'm eating, obviously," I replied, annoyed.

"Yeah, _my_ lunch," he pointed out.

"Oh _right_, this is _your_ lunch…" I said, standing up so that I could properly get in face.

It felt like something had cracked in my mind and suddenly nothing mattered…

"Take it then," I said, shoving it into his chest, just like I did yesterday. "I don't need it."

"Thank you," he said, smugly.

"You're welcome, Squid. It's not like I need food, apparently I can survive without it. Here, why don't you take my water, too?" I quickly shoved my canteen into his chest as well. "I don't need that either."

Squid was now looking down at me like I was crazy. I may have even scared him.

"Uhm… okay," he agreed, taking my canteen.

"Great! Now _you_ get two lunches and two canteens full of water and _I_ get absolutely nothing! Just how it's supposed to be, you know? Because you are _so_ much better than I'll ever be!" I was yelling. I knew I should speak a little more quietly, but I couldn't help it. Nothing mattered anymore.

He continued to stare at me, still slightly scared.

"You enjoy that now," I said, motioning toward my food and water and contemptuously mimicking his southern drawl. "I'll just get back to digging my hole."

And I did just that.

I'm sure everyone's eyes were on me and they were all thinking that I had cracked, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to look at anyone. I was just going to work on finishing my hole… even if it killed me.

*

Hours later, Zero finished his hole. And then Armpit, and, finally, I saw Squid climb out of his own hole.

"You're done?" I asked, just as he was about to spit in his hole.

I still had somewhere between a half a foot and a whole foot to go in my own hole, but it was taking me a while because I was constantly taking breaks in which I would breathe deeply for a couple minutes when I felt faint, and once it passed I would continued digging again.

"Yeah, what's it to you?" He asked, annoyed.

Swiftly, I climbed out of my hole (this time without almost falling back into it, thankfully) and walked over to him, "Because I think it's time for my dream to come true."

"What dream?" He questioned, confused.

"The dream I had last night. You know, the one X-Ray woke me from," I said as I jumped into his hole and stood there looking up at him. "I know you heard what I was saying in my sleep."

"And what does your dream have to do with you standing in my finished hole?"

"This is where you killed me," I stated casually, as if it were obvious.

"_What_?" He looked pretty shocked now.

"You killed me, right here," I said, motioning to the walls of the hole around me. "I had randomly found myself in your hole and you were quickly throwing the dirt back into it because, as you said, it was time for me to die and you were the one who had to kill me. You buried me alive. It wasn't fun, but I guess if I've already experienced it once, I can do it again without as much panicking this time. So, come on! Start shoveling in the dirt!"

He didn't say anything. He just stood there, staring at me.

"What are you waiting for? I haven't eaten all day, I'm so dehydrated I feel like I'm going to faint every fifteen minutes, and _I want to fucking die_!" I yelled, stomping my foot in the dirt and crossing my arms stubbornly.

"Shade, this isn't funny. Now get out of my hole," he spoke, frustrated.

"I'm not getting out! You're supposed to kill me, remember!?"

"No, I don't fucking remember! It was _your_ crazy dream, not mine!"

Suddenly X-Ray showed up out of nowhere and jumped into the hole with me.

"X-Ray? What are doing here? You weren't in my dream," I argued, my arms were still crossed as I looked at him with confusion. But forgetting him, I quickly looked to the sky, mumbling to myself, "Now, where is that cloud…"

_Slap!_

Suddenly my cheek stung as my hand immediately went up to hold my face and the pain sunk in.

"Feel better now?" X-Ray asked, looking furious.

"Not really," I muttered, unhappily, as I rubbed my cheek.

"Good, 'cause when you're starving and thirsty, you're not _supposed_ to feel good," he accused, referring to earlier when Magnet had asked me if I was okay.

"I thought you didn't hit girls?" I asked him, coldly.

"There's always an exception; in this case it seemed like the best way to get you to snap out of it," he defended himself.

I nodded, "I guess I can't hold it against you then."

He nodded, too, and then climbed back out of the hole and before Squid could do or say anything, X-Ray punched him right in the face, knocking him to ground.

I gasped, shocked, as I peered over at Squid now that I was eye level with him as I watched from the edge of his hole. He wasn't bothering to get back up on his feet just yet as he stared at the ground. Instead he was testing his jaw to see if X-Ray had broken it.

"Are you the leader?" X-ray questioned, yelling at him.

Squid shook head as he squirmed on the ground, letting out a groan.

"I didn't think so! Now, let me set you straight here: Shade said she wasn't better than you. She did _not_ say that you were better than her. You are _not_ better than her. She will no longer stand at the end of the line for you, she will stand in her place in front of you. You will return her iPod and her bed to her and you will not take any more of her food or water. Is that clear?" X-Ray was harsh and direct. I knew he would accept nothing less than a clear and meaningful 'yes.'

"Yes," Squid muttered as he spit out a wad of blood onto the dirt.

X-Ray had hit him in the mouth, but thankfully it looked like he hadn't knocked out any of his teeth, just busted up his lip pretty badly.

"Good," X-Ray affirmed and then walked back to his hole, leaving the two of us where we were. But not before adding, "Shade, get back to your own hole."

I quickly scrambled out of Squid's hole on X-Ray's orders, taking just one last look at the boy on the ground in front of me before heading over to my own hole.

As I began digging again, I covertly watched him out of the corner of my eye as he slowly got to his feet, spit out another wad of blood and saliva into his hole, grabbed his shovel, and left.

He didn't even bother to look at me.

The other guys, who had all been intently watching from their own respective holes, had also gone back to digging and I knew they wouldn't say anything to each other until X-Ray and I were both out of sight.

*

After finishing my hole, I headed back to camp; still tired, still hungry, and still thirsty.

I walked into the tent to find it empty, yet what surprised me was that my cot had been pushed back into its rightful place _and_ it was even made up again with my own sheet and pillow, along with my iPod and canteen (it was even more surprising to find that my canteen was still full) sitting on top of the perfectly made bed.

Completely dehydrated and overjoyed, I rushed over to the bed and grabbed the canteen, greedily drinking from it; I suddenly felt a hell of a lot better. It was also good to know that Squid would not be able to take my dinner tonight either. I couldn't wait to eat that disgusting crap they called food. I'd never been this desperate for food in my entire life. The Warden was right; the heat really _will_ do you in when you go hungry.

I can't believe I actually _did_ that. That I actually jumped into his hole and told him to bury me alive…

What _was_ I thinking?

Recalling the whole ordeal, I don't remember thinking at all…

Meaning… I must have really lost it for a moment.

Thankfully, X-Ray was there to literally slap me back into reality.

I took a deep breath and exhaled; it was time to wash off the events of today and start afresh with myself, and Squid, so that I could continue on with my plans and just forget about today.

Squid was no longer controlling my life and I was so happy that things were back to normal.

Sort of.

Of course, I had no idea how _normal_ things would be between Squid and me, but I guess I'd find out when I walked into the Wreck Room later. Or maybe I wouldn't walk into the Wreck Room. It was definitely time for me to update my journal. No wonder I went crazy today, I haven't been able to get out any of my deepest most secret thoughts since this whole thing started with that stupid dare!

Squid could wait until dinner.

*

The first thing I did after showering, was pull out my journal.

First thing's first, I had to check off the past couple days on my calendar. And then I realized that tomorrow evening was supposed to be my first night with Stoner.

The shock hit me so hard I had to slap myself in the face.

How could I have forgotten about my plan!? Even for a day or two!

_That's it!_

_I can no longer let that stupid brown-haired, brown-eyed boy get the best of me. He's a distraction, and definitely not a good one._

_What if this game had continued until tomorrow or the day after? I could have completely stood up my most important target! I could have ruined everything! How am I to stay sane in this hellhole if I can't light up and get high every once in awhile!?_

_It's the only comfort I have!_

_Well, except for my journal and sex (even though I haven't had any of that since my trial started), and X-Ray, and my third target if I ever get around to talking to him! I mean, I may have already lost the comfort of longer showers because I screwed things up with Gamble by confessing my heart and soul to him!_

_I should go talk to Stoner and make sure we are still on for tomorrow night; I'll fill you in on everything else that's been going on after dinner._

Quickly, I put away my journal and iPod back in my backpack. Checking my mirror to make sure I looked decent, I swiftly exited the tent to find him.

*****

**Ending Announcement: ** Well, to everyone who wanted to punch Squid in the face… It looks like X-Ray got there first. So, go X-Ray! I always knew you were secretly the good guy. Yes, it's true. I like X-Ray. I think he's a good guy, or at least a better one than they make him out to be in the book/movie.

And I know this chapter was short but I feel like so much has been happening in the last couple chapters that I should start condensing them a little better for you guys to, you know, take a breather. Plus, I really wanted what happens in this chapter to be kept separate from the rest of the story. It's usually best to keep the crazy crazy and normal crazy separate, right?

Sorry about the longer-than-expected wait. I lost the vibe again, along with the fact that for about a week I have been unable to log into my account, yet the day after I return to writing this chapter it suddenly starts working again (how weird is that?). But I just spent four days with my boyfriend and not at home with my laptop (oh! And I got my laptop back! I probably didn't mention it was broken, but it was so I had to write the more recent chapters on my parents' computer which was super annoying because my family was always hanging around and I'm a private person, I don't share much with my family, and I finally found out how to reboot my computer and rebooted the whole damn thing and I lost everything except the few files, like this story, I managed to save first), so that means I've had four days of not wracking my brains about how to make my stories work and I'm thinking that this break has helped me get my vibe back (for now).

And yes, you read right, I said stor_ies_. I currently have two others in the making. One was a Zigzag/OC but I have currently given up on it and haven't written for it in weeks, but that could always change. The other was a me-and-a-few-select-friends-go-to-camp-green-lake sort of story; and though it started out based on me and two of my friends, it's all kind of morphed into something else since I made the friends look different and have celebrity pictures for them, changed their names, and am kind of making them a little out of character, not to mention we're all over 18 and too old for juvie, so I had to change our ages even though I didn't even know these girls before college. Also I decided on only two friends, because even though I could have done all seven of us, I knew I wouldn't be able to keep track of ALL of them. It's just too much. Anyway, I might start posting this second one and I might not. Besides romance, I still don't know what to do with the story… so I still have a lot of issues to work out with it even though I've currently reached the fifth chapter during the time I should have been writing this chapter, chapter eleven of Shade. But I'm going to shut up now and let you make your reviews and leave and hope I update again soon.

Thanks for reading!

InAnotherLife11


	12. Void

**Beginning Annoucement: **It's what you've all been waiting for (and, yes, I know I've taken forever trying to write it) and it's finally here! The winner of my little contest is **xCrazyKindOvWeirdx**, who came up with a very interesting character, whom I have only tweaked a very tiny bit, and I can't wait for you to meet him! I am super excited about this character and his very complex self! I hope you all like him just as much as I do (although he's not a very good person to like!). But all the same, Chapter Twelve is finally here and my third target is finally in it. I hope you enjoy it!

**Chapter Twelve**

**Void**

Stoner was sitting on one of the couches, like usual, when I entered the Wreck Room.

Most of the boys from D-Tent had gathered around the pool tables, except for Zigzag who was in his usual spot on the floor in front of the broken TV. They didn't notice me come in and I used that to my advantage, quickly making my way over to Stoner.

"Hey," I smiled, sitting down next to him.

"Hey," he greeted me, looking surprised.

"So, are we still on for tomorrow night?" I asked, putting on my business tone.

He nodded, enthusiastically, "Definitely. I just got a new stash today."

I grinned, "Really? So, where do you get these stashes from?" I had to admit, I was very curious to know the answer to this.

He just shook his head at me, "Sorry, love, but I can't tell you that."

I nodded, looking straight ahead, "Fair enough. But I had to try."

He chuckled at that.

"Hey, Shade?" Suddenly, Gamble was in front of me, looking back and forth between Stoner and me questionably.

"Gamble," I greeted him with a small smile.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" He asked, furtively sneaking glances at Stoner next to me.

"Certainly," I answered and stood up to follow him over to an empty corner. However, before I walked away, once Gamble was out of hearing range, I quietly said goodbye to Stoner, "It was wonderful talking to you; I'll see you tomorrow night."

He nodded, eyeing Gamble knowingly as he moved across the room, "An hour and a half after lights out."

I smirked as I heard him confirm the time and nodded once in response before following my former target.

Gamble was already in the corner by the time I reached it, just leaning against the wall. I leaned against the wall next to him as he stared straight ahead.

"What's up?" I asked, keeping my cool just as I had when he asked to speak with me.

"What's going on between you and Stoner?" He asked, acting casually, but I could tell that there was something on his mind.

"Nothing," I lied. "Is it a crime to have friends outside of my tent?" This was something I should seriously find out now that I think about it, X-Ray acted practically the same way after I had talked with Gamble the other day.

He looked at me gravely, "So, that's how it's gonna be?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"After everything you told me the other day, you're lying to me now."

It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

"I don't know what you're talking about?" I asked, trying to stay calm.

"Remember who you're speaking to, Shade. I was given my nickname for a reason; I can call a bluff from a mile away."

I stared ahead, determined not to give anything away by looking at him.

"Are you planning to sleep with him?" He questioned, suddenly.

"Who?" I asked, finally making eye contact.

"You know who," he replied, sounding slightly frustrated.

"Stoner?" I asked, playing innocent.

"Yes, Stoner, are you sleeping with him?" He held my gaze with an intensity I've rarely ever experienced before and it took me a minute to finally break away and look around the room instead.

"Not yet," I answered nonchalantly. It wasn't a lie.

"So you are planning on sleeping with him?" He repeated.

"I never said that," I started. Also true.

"But it's what you do," he cut me off. "You sleep with guys for money."

"But who's got any money here?" I asked, disdainfully. So far, so good; he had nothing on me.

"No one, but Stoner _does_ have weed," he responded.

"True," I acknowledged his perceptiveness.

"And even though you don't seem like the type of person who likes to spend all your time getting high... what's the point in being sober when you're stuck in this place?"

"That's pretty much how I see it," I answered him, meeting his gaze.

He nodded, looking away from me, "So, I was right."

I stared at him for a minute in silence, and then I had to ask although indignantly, "Are you going to tell on me?"

He still had no proof. I technically have not admitted to anything and no one can blame me for wanting to be high while I was in this dump.

He met my gaze again with an incredulous look in his bright green eyes, but it passed quickly and he shook his head, "No."

I nodded, thankful.

"But I was wondering…"

I looked at him curiously as I waited for him to continue. What was it he wondering about?

"Are you just doing this with Stoner?" He finally asked.

I shrugged, "I'm not sure yet."

"Well, I was wondering if you'd be willing to make a deal with me?" He asked, covertly.

"You mean… have sex for something in return?" I asked, surprised. I hadn't pinned him as someone who would ask for this. I mean, yes, I had planned on making the offer, but after talking to him the other day and the way he was acting five minutes ago, him asking _me_ was completely unexpected.

He nodded, "I haven't been with a girl in ten months. And, I'll only be here for another two months so you won't have to worry about me for much longer. Plus, I've got plenty of shower tokens to share…" he trailed off, finally showing me that smirk.

I was surprised to see how well he had thought this out. I wondered how long he had been planning on asking me. Ever since he learned about my past? Or did it take him longer than that?

I soon smirked back at him, thinking about it.

I know he had been my second target anyway, and I knew I shouldn't really be this surprised (what guy here wouldn't like a chance to have sex right now?), but after confessing everything to him the other day, I had figured we'd only amount to friends.

Finally, I nodded. "I think it could be arranged."

He grinned at my answer, "Really?"

I nodded yes again, "Yeah, you were actually my second pick anyway."

"I was?" He asked, curiously.

"Mhm."

"Why?" He asked, seeming confused now.

"Because you've got plenty of shower tokens to go around," I answered. "And what girl wouldn't appreciate some longer showers after being out in the hot sun all day, covered in dirt and sweat?"

He nodded, "You have a point."

"I know," I said, smirking. "So, when do you want to do this?"

He shrugged, "Doesn't really matter."

"How about we go with Saturday nights?" I suggested. "An hour and a half after lights out."

"That's a half hour after Mr. Sir goes to bed…" he started.

"I know, or would you prefer we do it before he goes to bed? That way we'd get caught during his patrol; I'm sure that would be loads of fun."

He shook his head, "No thanks."

I agreed, "Good. So we have ourselves an agreement then?"

He nodded.

I grinned at him, "Perfect."

"So, do you have any other picks?" Gamble asked randomly.

"Just one more," I admitted. "But I haven't spoken to him yet."

"Who is it?" He questioned, curious.

I looked around for my third target, quickly finding him next to the little boom box on a stool across the room. He was messing with the antenna, trying to find a decent station without the static.

I nodded toward him, and Gamble quickly followed my gaze to the boy in question.

His eyes widened in surprise the moment he spotted him and I watched as my third target walked over to his two friends sitting on a couch.

"_Void?_" He asked, shocked, turning back to me.

I nodded.

Gamble looked over at Void again as he quickly plopped down beside his friends. Looking back at me, I could see the concern in his green eyes, "Shade, are you sure about this?"

I could hear the worry in his voice, but as far as I was concerned, I had no reason to be worried.

"Of course I'm sure," I said, determined.

"I don't know," Gamble said, shaking his head. "He's not your average guy, Shade."

"Really?" I asked, defensively. "And what exactly is it that makes him _not your average guy_?"

"Have you ever seen him up close?" He asked, blatantly.

"Why? Does it really matter if I've seen him up close or not?"

"His eyes, Shade, have you seen his eyes?" He asked, becoming frantic now.

I shook my head, confused.

"Well, you shouldn't make your decision until you do. They're empty, Shade, _empty_. That boy has never shown even a hint of emotion since he arrived here."

"So what? He's a guy, Gamble. Guys don't _like_ to show emotion."

"This is different," he said seriously, eyeing me carefully. "Once you get a good look at his eyes, you'll know what I mean."

I just shook my head, flabbergasted.

Maybe he was just jealous, I figured. Maybe he just doesn't want me doing business with anyone but him.

"I'm serious, Shade," he stated, noticing my disbelief. "The day Void first came here, one of the other guys decided to get in his face, you know, rough him up a little… but Void---he didn't fight back. He didn't even flinch. He just stood there, staring at this boy with these _blank_ eyes. And it really freaked him out, he told me so himself. He said it was like staring into two black holes."

"That's ridiculous," I stated, but not really sure what to think about this Void now.

"It's true," Gamble defended his story.

"So? That doesn't mean he's a bad guy…"

"So, you're willing to agree to have sex with a guy when you will never know what is going on inside his head? Because, like I said, there's no emotion there, and I doubt he'd actually tell you how he feels or what he thinks."

"It doesn't matter," I scolded him. "I'm not in this business to learn about people's feelings; I'm in it to get the things I want."

"So, you're going to go through with it? Shade, you don't even know what he's in here for!?"

"Don't you?" I asked immediately.

He seemed to know everything else about this boy.

He shook his head, "No one knows. He's never told anyone."

"But what about his file? My tent mates snuck in and checked mine, so why wouldn't someone else check his?" I asked, not sure how I felt about this information.

Gamble shrugged, "Not everybody wants to know what someone's done to get into here. At least, as far as I know no one has ever bothered with his folder. A lot of people were afraid of him after what happened his first day here. But there have been some rumors…"

"What kind of rumors?" I asked, curious yet suspicious.

"A lot of the guys think he killed someone," he told me, scratching the back of his neck inconspicuously as he looked around the room to make sure no one was listening to our private conversation.

"That doesn't mean he did," I defended my third target against his rumors.

Gamble just shook his head at me, "Whatever. It's your business. I just wanted you to know what you're getting yourself into by getting involved with him. But I still stand by what I said; don't make any decisions until you see his eyes."

"Pfft," I blew him off, walking away from him and toward Void.

Honestly, he couldn't be _that_ bad. None of these boys were, really. They were all just a bunch of children who've made a lot of trouble for themselves.

Besides, no one was _all _bad, whether they've killed someone or not.

Slowly, I made my way toward my target. He was sitting on a couch alone now, his friends having decided to play some pool. Approaching him cautiously, I finally sat down beside him on the couch.

So far, he hadn't seemed to notice me. He didn't see me come over to him and he didn't look up when I sat down. Maybe he was lost in a trance, thinking about something or maybe some place besides here.

First thing I noticed about him was that I couldn't see his eyes, at least not from where I sat. His head was directed in the opposite direction.

Of course, it probably only bothered me because of what Gamble had said. I didn't believe his eyes could be as empty as black holes. Besides, black holes were strange forces that sucked in everything surrounding it. Emotionless eyes don't suck you in; eyes _full_ of emotion do.

He had caramel-colored skin and longish curly black hair that fell into his eyes. He was well built; very toned, but not overdone. He wore a midnight blue wife beater with his orange jumpsuit tied around his waist.

Okay, Shade, you can do this…

"Hi." I mentally slapped myself when my voice almost _squeaked_! Being nervous was completely out of the question in these business deals, but right now I was nervous… and it was all Gamble's fault.

Slowly, he turned around to face me and I can't even begin to describe the shock I felt when he looked into my eyes.

His eyes may have _appeared_ brown from afar, but up close, they were as black as night, resembling an ever going void, it was like two bottomless pits of nothingness, emotionless.

As much as I didn't want to believe Gamble, he was right.

Void's eyes were scary to look into, but then, at the same time, I couldn't pull myself away.

"Hello," he responded, his voice just as emotionless as his eyes.

"I'm Shade," I introduced myself, trying to smile at him.

"I know," he replied.

"Well, aren't you going to introduce yourself?" I asked, feeling offended when he didn't do so himself.

"Why should I? You know my name. I know yours. So, what's the point of introducing ourselves?" He spoke in a slightly deep, uncaring tone.

I just stared at him, dazed. I must admit, I was a little scared of this boy.

"So, Shade, what is it that you came over here for? Was there something you wanted?" He asked, nonchalantly.

"What do you mean?" I asked suspiciously.

Did he know about my offer? There was no way he could. Stoner promised he'd never tell anybody and with the way Gamble acted I know he would never speak to Void, let alone tell him about my past business deals.

"No one ever comes over to talk to me unless they want something," he explained. "So, what do you want?"

"What do you have?" I asked, skeptically.

I had come over here because I knew he had cigarettes, but did he have other things, too?

"Anything you want, I can get it for you."

Now this really had me thinking. Was this kid like the main dealer in this place? Was he the one who could get anything? Was I not the first to come see him, wanting something along the lines of contraband?

"Well?" He spoke again, sounding bored. "What do you want?"

I looked back at him now, slightly surprised. Was that a hint of impatience I just heard in his voice? His eyes were still empty but his voice had not been. That meant something, didn't it? If he had impatience, then he must have other emotions, too.

"I wanted cigarettes…" I started, trailing off. "But now I'm not so sure."

"Cigarettes?" He asked, almost sounding disgusted. "Don't you know those things are bad for you? Nah, you deserve something better than cigarettes… and I am just the guy to hook you up."

"Please don't," I resisted. "I don't want any of the hard drugs. I'd just like some Black Cloves every now and then."

"Cloves?" He spoke, sounding surprised this time. "So the first girl to come here has good taste in cigarettes, and here I was thinking you'd want something weak and disgusting, like Marlboro Lights."

I cringed, scrunching up my nose, at the thought of Marlboro Lights and quickly shook my head, "No, I hate Marlboro."

He nodded approvingly, "Okay. I'll see what I can do about those Cloves."

I smiled, "Thanks."

"But we still haven't discussed what you will do for me in return," he stated brashly.

I nodded.

"Hopefully you didn't come over here thinking I would just get you whatever you wanted without getting something in return," he started and I quickly shook my head again, cutting him off.

"No, of course not," I stated matter-of-factly.

"Then what is it you plan to offer me?"

Okay, Shade, this is your chance. Just say it and get it over with. He's not so bad once you start talking to him, he seems smart and there's no way he could be completely emotionless.

"I was thinking sex," I answered, drawing up the last ounces of boldness I could find within myself.

"Sex?" He asked, surprised. "You mean between you and me?"

I nodded, determined to get this over with as quickly as possible.

"Well, that _is_ an interesting offer… but what makes you think I'll take it?" He questioned, sounding amused.

I considered this question, and then asked him, "How long have you been here, Void?"

"About six months," he answered after thinking about it for a moment.

"Well, that's six months you've gone without getting some action and here I am offering myself to you… why _wouldn't_ you take it?"

He seemed to consider this, I saw him slowly looking me up and down, and then he gave me a very small grin, but I could tell that it didn't reach his eyes, which were still as emotionless as ever, giving him a scary effect. "I think you might just have yourself a deal."

Slowly, he offered his hand out to me and I took it, shaking it firmly, finally gaining my full confidence back. "Wonderful. What do you think about Monday nights? We can meet an hour and a half after lights out?" I quickly offered, knowing the dinner bell would be ringing any moment now.

He nodded carefully, "Sounds good to me."

I nodded in return, "Good." I then quickly stood up; it was time to put an end to conversation. "Well, it was great talking to you. I'll see you Monday night then."

He nodded once and then I quickly turned around and walked away, back toward Gamble who was still watching from the corner. But I didn't stop, knowing Void must still be watching me. Instead, I gave Gamble a quick smirk, feeling proud that I had succeeded in my conquest, and made my way out of the Wreck Room.

***

**Ending Announcement: **So, what did everyone think!? Please leave your comments, opinions and even suggestions in your reviews! I had 49 when I posted this and I'm so excited about going over 50 after this. My next goal is to reach 100 reviews, so review, review, review. Even if you've never reviewed my story before, yet read this story anyway, it never hurts to start NOW. I love all my readers and what they have to say.

Plus, I'm sorry it's taken so long. I have been so wrapped up in _One of Those Girls_ that I just couldn't concentrate on this. And finishing this today was the first I've written in at least a week. Maybe longer. I've just been really busy, and distracted, and last night I felt a cold coming on and _boom_, this morning the cold was here. Even when I'm not sick, there's something about weekends that make me ridiculously tired and listless. But anyway… now that I've written, edited, and posted this, it's time to get productive and do some homework.

xoxo.

InAnotherLife11


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